John had just won first prize at a cat show and had received a 10-day cruise to the Puerto Rico. The catch was, though, pets weren't allowed on the cruise. So John decided to leave his cat with his best friend, Alice. Alice agreed to come over to John's house and live with his mom for the duration of the cruise. John told Alice, "Just feed the cat three meals a day, and take good care of him. He's my prize-winning cat!" And with that, he left.

The next day, John phoned Alice on his cell phone and asked, "How are things?"
To which Alice responded, "Things are fine."
"How's Mom?"
"Mom's fine."
"How's the cat?"
"The cat's fine." Satisfied, John hung up.

Next day, John called Alice again, asking the same questions."How are things?"
"Things are fine."
"How's Mom?"
"Mom's fine."
"How's the cat?"
"The cat's DEAD."
"WHAT?!?" John was quite distressed. "How could you let it die? It was my prize cat!"
"Well, John, I'm sorry, but I couldn't do anything, I didn't see it. But what I think happened was that the cat was on the roof, fell off, and broke his leg. Then, he hobbled out into the road, and got run over."
John was cooling down a bit now, and said, "Well, couldn't you have tried to break it to me over time? You could have said it bit by bit. For example, you could have first said 'The cat's on the roof', then the next day said 'The cat fell off the roof, and broke its leg', see what I'm saying."
"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Sorry John."
"Ok... bye." John hung up.

The next day, John phoned Alice again."How are things?"
"Things are fine."
"How's Mom?"

"Umh," Alice said, "Mom's on the roof."

Labels: Jokes

Because tonight

junhao
20
LOVE MOVIES.
FUCKING STRAIGHT.
I'M WHAT YOUR MUM WARNED ABOUT.
YOU DONT WISH TO KNOW ME. SERIOUSLY.

Will be the night

..seasons are changing
..and waves are crushing
..and stars are falling all for us
..days grow longer and nights grow shorter
..i can show you i'll be the one.

That i will

fall for you

over again.