every word, every thought, every sound.

2009-12-10T05:35:00.002+08:00

Looks like its hard to find someone to go macau/HK with me during dec now. But that does not stop me from going still !

i'll be heading there alone during 21st dec to maybe 24th dec. A short get away trip alone might be interesting! hehhh.

: D

2009-11-22T20:56:00.002+08:00

I've been home since the last 48 or more hours and never left home a single step. even my meals were delievered. and i'm skipping my dinner today, because i've run out of cash and i'm too sick to go out to buy. pop some pills and cough mixture and i'll sleep out that hunger later on.

i've been coughing for years and this coughing thingy has been with me since a few years back and i got totally no clue how did it started. i hope its some sort of lung cancer and hopefully it's at its final stage and spare me from more torture. everytime i cough, my chest hurts, it feels like something stucks between the air pipes and i'll have a hard time to breathe. thus, there's countless of times where i'll be coughing multiple times struggling for air.

ohhh... if only somebody out there can feel what i've been going thru. wow.

have been drifting in and out of sleep waking up only at times when its lunch or dinner. hate myself for always being sick. stayed out of contact with the world during my hibernation period and there's this feeling of like being in a tranquilized place.

having been asleep for quite a long time, i had an amazing amount of dreams and i could clearly remember some or most of them. actually, not really dreams but some sort of a flashback, from childhood to adult to some deja vu scene which i do not know how to explain. from songs, to movies i've seen years back, to hobbies and many more. frightening indeed.

often people usually says or maybe old folks stories that i've heard before that a dying person actually have flashbacks of his life to remind him what have he done before he passes away.

amazing huh. but sadly i'm too tired to carry on...

gtg bed. nights.

2009-11-07T21:15:00.002+08:00

I was surfing for blogshops wanting to check out how does it work and i came across this , remember to watch the youtube video there! : DDD

http://f-cup-cookie.livejournal.com/

2009-11-07T04:27:00.002+08:00

Work sucks! Its like i'm the always dependable person in work. And i dunwan it that way, otherwise .. people will take advantage of me. When other people are not around, nobody complains. When i'm not around, everyone complains. I guess, in NS.. you shldnt put in too much effort, no use at all. People will still only see the bad side. When work well done, you're never to be thanked, when work not done, you're the first to be blame.

>,<

that's life huh? : )
_________________________

Anyway , i've completed watching 244 ep of bleach within lets say , 1week plus?

Ahhh , really well done. Well deserved time, sleepless weekends, every hour after work to chiong finish! hehhh, time really flies! and now its every week one ep of bleach. So SLOOOOOW! >,<

so guess wad? games of cos! brought new PS3 games , tekken 6. $70+bucks poorer. But worth every dime of it.. spending countless hours playing it too! HEH! best way to kill time is to keep yourself occupy huh? : )

Alright, hope i dont club this weekend. Clubbing really sucks! Waste money, waste time , waste alot more! >,<'
[ New month resolutions : NO CLUBBING FOR NOV! ]

i'm off to play game, ciaos! : )

2009-10-19T21:51:00.001+08:00

mum emo cos the ipod i loan to her was killed in accident, she was upset now got no music to accompany her when she goes for jogging.

So i blew $88bucks for a new shuffle for her ...

time to eat grass this month. lol.

2009-10-17T23:09:00.001+08:00

Suffering from boredom , stayed at home on a sat night ... amazing!

2009-10-14T22:34:00.002+08:00

Working like dog ..

Work this week isnt very happening. Really very tiring and lots of things to do, worst of all .. most of the time i'm doing it alone! Nobody to share the burden with! Sheeshh...

everyday by 11pm, i'll be dead on the bed and at 5am i'll wake up to prepare to go work.. the circle goes on very dull and my dark eyes circle could shame those china panda's.

i really cant wait for this week to endddddddd... i need a holiday!

2009-10-07T22:04:00.002+08:00

Had to struggle in work today because i'm still sick. Suffering from backache and flu. Feeling weak ..

Just feeling low again this week, maybe its because my holiday is over and its back to realitiy once again! I need another holiday break soon please !

Can give me the JOKER hp number ? I want him to put a smile on my faceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Nights folks!

2009-10-06T11:24:00.002+08:00

I dont love you

By : matt powney

Few years ago, i chance upon this cover song sang by MCR, it's beautiful.
You got to click on my imeem for the full song to listen! haha : D

Well, when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way

And after all this time that you still owe
You're still the good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
It's where you oughta stay

And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow
So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can
Whoa, whooa

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Well come on, come on

When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday"

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

2009-09-30T22:05:00.002+08:00

OMGGGGG! Its another few more hours before i would board the flight. haha! Alittle more excited now.. its been almost a year since i really travel overseas ? Damn.. cant wait to fly. haha!

Army just kills all freedom and at last , at long last .. waited till now to clear my leave. took the chance to travel overseas to relax. woot : )

Alright ... i'm gonna meet a friend then come back pack my stuffs then off to bed. 630am needa reach airport for 830 flight. Sheesh..!

i'll not miss singapore. lol.

bye folks!(=

2009-09-29T15:38:00.003+08:00

Hmmm, i'm actually amazed how things went. Just lastweek after the breakup, i was feeling quite down.. just wanna spend some money and relax. Was hunting around for some SPA or some retail therpy! Either it was too expensive or not appealing enough. Soooo, called up a few friends, applied overseas leave, and i'm flying to bangkok this thursday! haha! AMAZING!

the things people do when they are upset are quite amazing huh!? okay, maybe not.. but this is a first time for me. hehh!

Went to close down my ssdc account , balance 500+ inside. took all the money out, felt rich ! hahaha! think i'll just use it all and change to baht. Is it enough ? hmm! 2nd time i'm going bangkok only and the first time i was kinda very young? HAHA!

Alrights, i'm going to have my afternoon napppp.. boring day. nobody date me out too! nights folks!

Send me A MEI - TING HAI please? HAHA!

24th nov

2009-09-24T21:59:00.004+08:00

24th nov.

it was suppose to be a special day.

it was 2 years.

just last week, we broke up. For good i hope. Its tiring ... break patch break patch. TSKTSK.

ive applied leave etc, planning to surprise her. But nvm, its overrrrr! : )

Just dont come back k! Move on! : )

I was feeling super down yesterday , keeping a smile on .. to hide my emotionals. Nobody knows how am i feeling anyway, relationship, family problems stack up on each other. Tsktsk. decided to take a break, applied leave, booked tickets , call a few friends .. ...

.. ..heading to bangkok next week on 1-5oct.

.... it goes on and on in the vicious circle .. ... .

2009-02-19T17:13:00.012+08:00

I often says, everything happens for a reason. When we miss the bus to board the next bus, its for a reason. When we woke up late and miss work, its for a reason. When we strike toto , its for a reason. When we fall in and out of love, it's too for a reason.

Everything. Everything just happens for a reason. Be it good or bad.

I'm just so bored at home today, went photo browsing. Just all the random pictures i'm looking at. Its all random, so i'm sharing with all : D

These pictures are all randoms ! None in order in anyway, so just view lor ? : D

At's Roxanne's uncle wedding with the guys.

Same place, the wedding lor?

At bugis judging calendar boys 2010.

Zhao's army prom night date. SM's cousin, XY.

KaiQi's birthday party with nerd and adt.

Xanne biting me !

Adt with ex gf.

Family photo : D

Neoprints!

Xanne , Me and my gf jess.

Xanne.

i went sentosa suntan alone.

My fav toilet with good wash hands basin.

My soccer idol , kaka!

My first diamond cross.

Jas birthday with adt.

In school studying ?

Zhao at kbox.

Zhao >,<

Adrian tan keng seng

Zhao again !?

ADT with pretty gal in the background <3

ME.

SUPERMAN.

Dunno wads this.

Zhao 21st birthday i think

me-.-''

MJ : D

Pat

ADT with jenny : D

SM!

ZHAO.

XANNE.

ADT AND ZHAO + MJ ! : D

ADT , LESTER , ME , QUACK.

MIKO, ZHAO , ME , JERE , PAT.

THE GANG.

Goodnight and much much loves : D

2009-02-15T05:19:00.002+08:00

I dont like valentines day. Think that it's a waste of money for the guys and people give flowers for the sake of giving. Doing things romantically, doing special things for the sake of doing !

WHAT FOR ?

When two person are in love, everyday is considered valentines day already man!

No need a date to reassure or to celebrate when everyone else is doing it together, not that special anymore.

When a gal holding 1 rose, walk pass a gal holding 3 roses how would the gal with 1 rose feel ? Her bf not sweet enough? Not good enough? How would the 3 rose gal feels? Her bf very good ? Win the 1 rose ?

When a gal with 3 roses walk pass a gal with 12 roses, how would the 3 rose gal feel ?

Shld i buy 999999999 roses, to make sure nobody wins the gal i wanna give ?

Dumb.

Giving flowers on non valentine is much coooler : D
________________________________

Time, i'm fighting time every single day. How i wished i got like 30 hours a day like seriously.

On normal days, 5am i got to wake up. 0545 is my first bus, 0606 is my first train, 0701 is my 2nd bus. Reach camp around 0735. Late everyday. Wad choice ? I'm living so far away.

Feeling so stressed and fucked up about it.

1645 i end work. 1800 i reach home.

from nextnext month onwards, 2000-2200 i'll be having lessons everyday.

Means 1800-1900 is my only free time ? I must do all my stuffs, dinner, shit, shower, computer, game, papers, wadever only during that 1 hour. OH MANNNNNNN!

How i wished someone would understands. But sadly, none.

2009-01-10T20:33:00.000+08:00

SYDNEY (AFP) - - An Australian woman who allegedly set fire to her husband's genitals because she believed he was having an affair appeared in court on a murder charge Monday.

ADVERTISEMENT

After the fire spread through the family home, Rajini Narayan, 44, told neighbours she had only wanted to burn her husband's penis "so it belongs to me and no one else," prosecutors said.

"It's just his penis I wanted to burn, I didn't mean this to happen," she was quoted as saying, the Adelaide Advertiser reported.

Prosecutors said Narayan's engineer husband Satish was asleep in their double-storey Adelaide home when his wife doused his genitals with methylated spirit and set them on fire on December 8 last year.

The blaze spread when he jumped out of bed and knocked over the bottle of spirits, causing around a million dollars (700,000 US dollars) damage to the house and a neighbouring property, the court heard.

Narayan, 47, died in hospital last week.

His widow was remanded in custody until Friday, pending the results of a psychological assessment.

2009-01-03T15:47:00.003+08:00

I'm staring at the glass infront of me
Is it half empty
Have I ruined all you've given me
I know I've been selfish
I know I've been foolish
But look through that
and you will see
That I'll do better
I know, baby
I can do better

If you leave me tonight
I'll wake up alone
Don't tell me
I will make it on my own
Don't leave me tonight
This heart of stone
will sing 'til it dies
If you leave me tonight

Sometimes I stare at you
while you are sleeping
I listen to your breathing
Amazed how I somehow managed to
sweep you off of your feet girl
Your perfect little feet girl
I took for granted
what you do
But I'll do better
I know, baby
I can do better

If you leave me tonight
I'll wake up alone
Don't tell me
I will make it on my own
Don't leave me tonight
This heart of stone
will sing 'til it dies
If you leave me tonight

Don't you know
My heart is pumping, oh
It's putting out the fight
and I've got this feelin'
That everything's alright
Don't you see
I'm not the only one for you
But you're the only one for me

If you leave me tonight
I'll wake up alone

(Stay) If you leave me tonight
(Close) I'll wake up alone
(Don't) Don't tell me
(Go) I will make it on my own
(Stay) Don't leave me tonight
(Close This heart of stone
(Don't) will sing 'til it dies
(Go) If you leave me tonight

Don't leave me tonight
______________________________

I just love this song now! ROARRRR!

I'm going back to the far emo place, i'll miss you all ! Goodbye, take care! Be good, Dont text me! Mwahh.

2009-01-03T01:59:00.002+08:00

Goodbye 2008. You suck!

Helloooo 2009 , i got a feeling you suck too!
Every year sucks anyway!(:

But anyway... Welcome! Try to make it worst than 2008, i bet you cant! Hurhur! : )

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in, I'm yours to keep
And hold on to your words 'cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight when you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find

Impossible to find.

2008-12-31T19:22:00.004+08:00

I need a holiday. Everyday everything requires so much thinking and so stressful. When my weekends come, the people around me are not letting me off, giving me stressful problems time and time again.

How i wished i have more people in my life who can unwind me once a while, so that life wouldnt seem so bad.

There are those people who just keep asking questions , nagging and nagging non stop. There isnt a day of peace during weekdays. Coming home looking for some, but failed to find any.

There are also those people who just say no to everything you do or say, that isnt helping much, and it just fucked the day up. Whats the point of coming out and couldnt find the peace i seek for a week, all month long. Might as well stayed inside and go all out all the way. I backed out when i know if you want to be the best, you got to make lots of sacrifice inside. 3 months of this, 9 months of that and the rest of the last few months, all will be very busy. hardly enough time for ownself, hardly any time for others. Would be perfect for me, but i've chose the other route, the one that i could keep in touch with my loved ones more often, have my own life.

When days like this screwed up everything, i sometimes began to wonder, did i just made another mistake? Hmm.

I always swore to you i'd never fall apart.
You always tot that i was stronger.
I may have failed, but i've loved you from the start.

Ohh, but hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true

Screw 2008, nothing great ever happened.

I just want to relax. Nothing more.

2008-12-12T03:10:00.003+08:00

Its been Long : D

But , later better than never? LOL! : D

It's time. In 3 hours time, i'll take a dare.. if i dare to cut botak (trim my hair to the shortest) i'll get $100 each from my friends. Yup, all you people out there, remember to pay me next next next week : D haha!

anyway, i'll be leaving for somewhere far away to complete my doctor degree, not coming back anytime soon. So yup, miss me folks!

Will blog when i set up my wireless inside my new house, hopefully everything is set up nicely and well.

While i'm gone, take care folks! : D

2008-07-22T00:05:00.002+08:00

Briton arrested for sex attacks on sheep

Reuters - Friday, July 18 02:53 pm LONDON (Reuters) -

A Briton has been arrested on suspicion of carrying out a series of sex attacks on sheep, London police said on Friday.

The 27-year-old man was held at his home in Dulwich, south London, on suspicion of bestiality with sheep. He was also wanted in connection of the possession of drugs with intent to supply.

Detectives said the arrest followed allegations made to them in May and June.

"Two male joggers said they had observed a man molesting the sheep in a field at Botany Bay Lane, Chislehurst," police said in a statement.

"A similar incident was reported to police by a stables employee in the area."

Media reports said the man had been barred from visiting farmland while officers carried out their investigation.

(Reporting by Michael Holden)

Ha ha , ho ho, hee hee, ha, ho, hee.

Will blog about my new toys tmr(:

2008-07-21T00:10:00.005+08:00

I know a place where the sun is like Gold,

And down underneath is the loveliest nook,
Where the four leaf clovers grow,

One leaf is for HOPE,
and one is for FAITH,
and one is for LOVE,
Put another in for LUCK,

If you search, you'll find where they grow.

Rising majestically above the landscape of bishan, clover by the park offers breathtaking views of soothing greenery and the magnificent city skyline.
An enviable combination of prime location and the opportunity to enjoy a unique lifestyle make this 616 unit development a truely rare find.

For $765 per square foot, its like slightly abit higher price than normal condo. But this condo is building at bishan, ( next to my blk - around 4mins 58seconds walk away ) is on such a prime location. How can i resist? lol.

But the smallest unit, at 1216 square feet, is around $930,240.

For 3 bedroom units, ranging from 1216 sq feet to 2207 sq feet means, around $930,240 to $1,688,355.

For 4 bedroom units, ranging from 1733 square feet to 1765 square feet, around $1,325,745 to $1,350,225.

For suites, its a standard size of 3057 square feet : D
Estimated of around $2,338,605.

For penthouse , its from 2530 square feet to 3466 square feet.
Estimated of around $1,935,450 to $2,651,490.

There'll be 8 penthouse, 4 suites, and dunno how many others of 3-4 rooms units.

Completion of the contruction will be near end of 2011. At 40story high, it would be the highest ever lived building over here at bishan. With a clear view of the cityskyline and it's beautiful.

Tempting.

It would be everyone's dream of getting either a suite or a penthouse. But really, who can afford? Its almost as tough as touching the sky to me.

Having a penthouse would be a dream come true, having your own roof, your own hilltop mountain king feeling. haha. Gazing the stars, slipping red wine, with soft music playing in the background, look further and i can see the city lights, and btw, the ferrywheel is within sight from bishan :) Tsktsk. I'm getting _______ ( fill in the blank yourself ) thinking about it man.

And imagine having your own lift to the top floor? Nobody else but you at this floor. Hello? So much privacy. If the lift breaks down then, hmm. goodgame, But yeah, nvm about that first.

The stars, the city sky view, the having your own very highrise rooftop, the privacy, your own floor, your lift to 40th story, your open terrace above all else, you wake up, open the curtains watching the sunrise, gazing down at the horizon, enjoying the day, get strike by lightning in a storm first, if there's flood you're the last to die. Is it worth it? hmm.

Hell yes. So i've made an appoinment with the property agent whom she gave me her card last week to sign some papers, some senior manager likely.

I wouldnt forget about you guys when i've moved in, i'll open a good house warming session for all, open parties, mahjong sessions and invite you all over for chalet and open anytime for you guys out there : )

All these years of hardwork, and achivements, i owe it to each and everyone of you that step a foot in my life, that mould me into the me i am today, that proudly going to buy that $2million plusplusplus penthouse.

But i still need another favour,

Pray for me that tomorrow's toto i'll strike 2 , 6 , 5 , 1 , 4 and 9.

Thanks.

2008-07-18T22:48:00.001+08:00

I was five and he was six
We rode on horses made of sticks
He wore black and I wore white
He would always win the fight

Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down.

Seasons came and changed the time
When I grew up, I called him mine
He would always laugh and say
"Remember when we used to play?"

Bang bang, I shot you down
Bang bang, you hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, I used to shoot you down.

Music played, and people sang
Just for me, the church bells rang.

Now he's gone, I don't know why
And till this day, sometimes I cry
He didn't even say goodbye
He didn't take the time to lie.

Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down...

2008-07-07T23:10:00.004+08:00

I was so touched by the 9pm, channel 55 show. I think i shed a tear. lol.
Will be damn busy this week till sat. And seem quite moody today. So, clubbing this week anyone? (:

Never meant to hurt you
But I know I did
Knocking on my door
Baby something gotta give
Chasing all these womens
Thas jus how us rappers live
I know I did a lot of things that you cant forgive
I was so weak when I shoulda been strong
I was on the road and you were home alone
In the back of my mind
I knew that it was all wrong
Its bonnie and clyde
Jus u nd me for now on

I never been faithful before in my life
Didn't understand the words husband and wife
Everytime i cheated on you cut you like a knife
Im so ashamed i could take my own life
Trying to keep my image up
I lied to get you
Had to be a rebel
Couldnt be seen with ya
Use to call me late night cuz you really miss me
I aint even answer cuz I was out tricking
Smelling like perfume, coming home late
Another group of chicks
So many damn mistakes
Everyting i said you knew dat it was fake
So many tears rolling down your precious little face

Never meant to hurt you
But i know i did
Knocking on my door
Baby something gotta give
Chasing all these womens
Thas jus how us rappers live
I know i did a lot of things that you cant forgive
I was so weak when i shoulda been strong
I was on the road and you were home alone
In the back of my mind
I knew it was all wrong
Its bonnie and clyde
Jus u nd me for now on

Where ever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

So many times i took you for granted
So much pain i know you cant stand it
Embarrased you in front of your whole family
The way i acted i shoulda won a grammy
We're a million pieces
I shatter you apart
You gave me all your trust and i broke your heart
Trying to be a good guy acting all hard
Late night picking up chicks in your car
I do anything if i can take you back
Just you and me in my first cadillac
You were a lil gangster chick wearing my hat
Took it all for granted everyting i had

Never meant to hurt you
But i know i did
Knocking on my door
Baby something gotta give
Chasing all these womens
Thas jus how us rappers live
I know i did a lot of things that you cant forgive
I was so weak when i shoulda been strong
I was on the road and you were home alone
In the back of my mind
I knew it was all wrong
It was bonnie and clyde
Jus u nd me for now on

Where ever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

Never meant to hurt you
But i know i did
Knocking on my door
Baby something gotta give
Chasing all these womens
Thas jus how us rappers live
I know i did a lot of things that you cant forgive
I was so weak when i shoulda been strong
I was on the road and you were home alone
In the back of my mind
I knew it was all wrong
Its bonnie and clyde
Jus you and me for now on

2008-06-29T04:00:00.002+08:00

The news is out.

Sighhh. My mum's liver isnt in such a good condition, some 3cm lump growing inside. As i've said before, its heredity. Passed down from my grandma, and maybe my great grandma. My uncles, aunties are not in very good health too.

3cm. Thats like wtf. bloodybig. imagine putting a 50cent coin in ur liver? Sigh.

I dunno wad i'm thinking, how shld i feel too. I'm like cornering myself off to this world. To 98.7221% of my friends and people surrounding me. Including close ones and all. Forgive me peeps, i need time alone. Its not i dunwan to reply anyone's smses and calls, i just got no mood to do anything, to say anything.

how do i say? Sigh, my mum is my closest THING to me? You can shout, beat scold kill me, but dont u dare bully my mum. This is how much i treasure her. But i still always make her angry. Its so contradicting. fuck you jh.

When i was 10years old, my ahma (father's side) came over to my house and scolded my mum, shouted damn loud and scary, they both were like wwII ? When my ahma stand up like wanna be fierce than my mum, i run in and chap and shouted at my ahma to get lost and fuck off, in my hand holding a kitchen knife?
lol. Then my ahma, raise her hand and wanted to slap me, my mum shouted back, YOU DARE!? lol.

In my 20 yrs old, on my first trip to macau in the plane. We were sitting at the second row of the plane, there's this china guy with his son sitting directly infront of my seat, then while halfway thru the journey, he started to push his chair backwards, tilt it in a very comfortable position for him, but super uncomfortable for the behind person. Just our luck that we're seated behind him?

So i spoke to him nicely, saying in chinese :" Sir, do you mind moving back your seat to orginal position because its very uncomfortable for us?"

he replied angrly, :" No, the chair is designed in this way for me to use." Then after he said that, his son, followed his action and push the chair back and its his luck that i'm behind him? I kick the chair so hard that the chair move backed to orginal position. His son is 13-15 btw. Then the china man angrily stood up, facing us, with the whole plane watching and shouted at me and my mum?

Wad was he thinking? we're easy to bully? I stood up, shouted back louder at him? LOL! Whole plane was watching. ard 50-70 people if i'm not wrong?

His face changed, and said abit nicer this time, scared tat i'll throw a punch or two at him? Then came his son, standing up, holding a magazine, shouted, then threw it at my mum sitting down. I exploded. Grab him by his shirt in one hand lifting him up and pushed his father away with the other arm when he tried to stop me, he fell.

I SHOUTED in his fucking face to apologise to my mum, he was shaking, didnt want too, i shouted another 2 times before i almost slammed him against the plane window, with everyone looking of cos. He didnt, i pushed him backwards, hitting the wall of the plane. His tears dropping. His father stood up and said sorry to me. I shouted back, asking him to apologise to my MUM instead. He did, and i asked him to ask his kid to apologise to my mum, he didnt want but gave in when his father scolded him, not to hit people first, because he's in the wrong. In the end he did.

Not trying to say anything about me? But trying to say, how impt my mum is to me, and i wouldnt let anyone bully her? Maybe only me? lol.

So when the news came, its like wtf feeling to me. And knowing that my friend's father got livercancer, fainted in the toilet and sent to TTSH, its also another piece of saddening news.

This is life, at many times i felt like giving it up.

Dear Lord, on my knees, can you hear my prayers?

2008-06-25T23:00:00.004+08:00

Its been long but you're still here, faithful old pal. It seems that whenever i'm low and down, i'll come back to you. But no matter how long, how far, about what or anything, you're still here. Awww (:

I missed youuuu (:

These few days, mum went for checkup at SGH went for some ultra sound scan, and she became very emo and depressed over it.

Finally, she talked and said, while doing halfway, the nurse who help her scan, was looking at the screen, then said :" you better go find your doctor." Or something like that, because she was speaking in a very fast tone and went off afterthat.

Because while doing ultra scan, her main doctor dont need to be there, but just need the report, so letting others to do the scan and finish the report before handing up to the doctor was normal.

So on that day, she didnt get to see her report. Or the least, her doctor. So she was worried like no tomorrow. ( touch wood )

Tmr might be the day she would go back and meet her doc on a special appoinment made and maybe discuss about what happened about the scan or anything. My fingers are crossed.

Seeing her this way really breaks my heart, but as a son, i've got to act strong and telling her thats rubbish! Its not a bad sign, just that the nurse dunno whats going on, inexperience or no use. Useless. Tmr i'm going fire her.

But deep down, its not easy. Its my mum i'm talking to about. Its an illness that my grandmother had. Might be passed down through generations ( heredity ).

Hearing about it really bring tears to my heart.

Dear God,
all i want is to shorten my own life to lengthen my parent's , nothing else.

2008-04-19T15:21:00.004+08:00

Well when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way

When after all this time that you still owe
You're still, the good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
It's where you oughta stay

And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow

So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can
Whoa, whooa

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Well come on, come on

When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday"

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday
_____________________________________

My laptop conked out last night, was kinda pissed, i slammed it against the table, and this morning, it turned out fine!(: Sometimes, somethings need a beating to wake up. haha.

This week's photoshoot was cancelled and my manager told me say, he wanna book bungalow in bintan for the shoot, half excited, half disappointed. Trying out something new would be good, and bintan is a beautiful place to be enjoying the day for the shoot, but i doubt my mum would allow even thou its only a one day event, go and come back within the day, so.. i guess, i dont think i'll be going.

Been hanging out lately, playing Mahjong, supper, slacking, wasting time. Thats my current life, i just dread going to school so badly, that first week of school, i only attended on monday and wednesday. The rest, i just slp in.

I really cant wait to get into NS to have my freedom. Everyone question me, thinking i'm crazy. Because, going into NS equals no freedom. But in my case, it is different. I'll have freedom from my family, not letting them worry, where am i. As going home nowadays seems like a chore to me. I so dread going home, i would sit downstairs alone. Talking to myself. Maybe.

I dunwan my mum to wait for me to come back home before she could sleep peacefully, some of you would say, they rather their mum do that, at least it shows she loves me. But i dont need it, i dunwan. I'm a grown up, let go of me. I cant be always under her wing, disallowing me to fly. I want to fly.

The more i'm being kept, the more i wanna fly. From young till now, till old. I'm always the rebelious child in this family. Almost got killed by my father's beatings countless of times. Life isnt easy for me, in this family. Its not just another blow. I feel tired and numb.

The thoughts of ending my life seems near, the sucidal thoughts, the how to make sure i would die 100%ly. Jumping down the block sounds good, but then again, i've not lived enough, i've not made my first million, i've not drive my new car, i've not repay my parents, i've not married. A thousand and one things i've not done in life, but thoughts of ending it always seems to walk thru my mind every now and then, as i dont have to worry anymore, the disappointment, the shit, the sins i've done, everything just ends. maybe.

For the moment, i find that life sucks. The feeling of tiredness, tiredness of everything. Tired of everything.

Someone asked me before. why do i always sleepsleepsleep? Its because i could end my tiredness and fall into a nice fairytale ending. But thats running away isnt it? And when i wake up, the world turns out the same and it still sucks? And again, its the only way, i could numb myself from the tiredness, if i hold on, i'll breakdown. Somehow.

Jumping off the building and staying alive is just between a thin line, sometime, someday. watch the news alright, would be my last picture you'll ever see.

To me now, life doesnt have a meaning. Someday, i'll just flip a coin, and let the ones above to decide.

Till then.

2008-04-07T14:28:00.002+08:00

Oh!
I'm into you,
And girl,
No one else would do,
'cause with every kiss and every hug,
You make me fall in love,
And now I know I can't be the only one,
I bet there heart's all over the world tonight,
With the love of they life who feel..
Wat I feel when I'm with you.

Girl, with you.

2008-03-31T13:28:00.004+08:00

Was pretty unhappy since last night, dont know why. Maybe some weird conversation which sparked the unhappiness. Usually, i would be alright the next day, but this time round, guess need a few more days. hehh.

Anyway, went bloghopping, its been long since i've ever done that. And lucky i did? i've Found a new idol. hahaha.

XueSha

Besides, looking hot, sexy, elegant, matured, she's got a real interesting life.
Freelance part time successful model earning thousands, with a bf who drives a bmw car, who gambles poker $700-1000 min on table, who is able to spends $1k on her easily. Her life seems perfect now. Tsktsk. Would be the envy of thousands of girls. Which gal doesnt wana be beautiful? Who earns a comfortable living on her own, with a bf super rich and could afford to spend on her? And maybe lots of love for her too.

And her bf? Would be the evny of thousands of guys too. duh. Which guy doesnt wanna be rich, and drives a bmw car with a gorgeous gf who is so matured that she can earn comfortably by herself and not living off him with such nice figure? Sex must be good too. hehh.

But there's this saying in chinese, " Men tang hu dui" ( I dunno if i'm wrong in hanyi pingying ). Anyway, it actually means, wood door matches with wood door, metal door matches with metal door or something like tat in olden chinese. hehhh. Or in even more simple terms, matching people with the same class.

If you're rich, you'll mix with the rich friends.
If you're rich and handsome, higher class gals will come flock towards you.
If you're average, gals with average expectation will come towards you.
If you're gorgeous like a model, you'll have lots of gorgeous models friends.
If you drive a lambo, you'll look down on others who drives a lousier car than you.

Just why, till date, actually. 80% of the people actually mix with the friends who are the same 'class' as them.

AhBengs with Ahlians,
Aunties with uncles,
Dancers with dancers,
Models with models, etc.
( I really cant figure out more examples, help? )

Recently, zhao, adrian and me went for a spin, one of zhao's friends call abc. He is an Ahbeng, he drives his father's car without permission, without a license. He talks like one, acts like one, smokes like one. I've told zhao to take over the wheel as i wouldnt want to sit in the car if that ahbeng drives, not that i'm afraid of getting trouble with the law, but for a guy like him, it wouldnt be worth it.

After that day, i've told zhao, if his friend is coming along again with us, dont call me along, zhao also agreed, that we're a totally a different class from him and he didnt enjoy his company with us too.

I may be jealous that why cant i find a gal like her who's more matured, but her make up and the way she spends actually quite a turn off. To conclude, nobody's is perfect. So am i.

So, back to point, we shld not be envy or jealous that Xuesha is beautiful, sucessful with a rich bf. Or her bf nick is handsome, successful with a beautiful gf. Because we're not at their class, so we cant compare with them, yet... (:

2008-03-29T20:11:00.003+08:00

Hmmm, more jokes! (:
Will get pretty busy for the next two weeks, so dont bother trying to date me, i'll date you. hahaha! =X
_________________________________________

My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided to get married.

My parents helped us in every way, and my friends encouraged me.

My girlfriend?

She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me.

That one thing was her younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age,
wore tight mini-skirts, and low cut blouses.

She would regularly bend down when near me, and I got many pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the
wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me
that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me
that she could not overcome and did not really want to overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got
married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and
could not say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom , and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."

I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.

When she reached the top, she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went
straight to the front door.

I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked straight toward my car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside

With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said,

"We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We could not ask
for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"

The moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car
__________________________________________

A man had been troubled by his inability to achieve an erection. After visiting numerous doctors and not getting any help he decided to consult a witch doctor.

The witch doctor threw some herbs in the fire,shook his rattle,and danced wildly. When he was through he said,"I have placed a powerful spell on you, but it will only work once a year. When you are ready just say...1,2,3, and you will get the largest erection that you have ever had.

After your wife has been satisfied she simply has to say, 1,2,3,4, and it will be gone for one year."

Later that night as the man lay in bed he said to his wife,"Watch this! 1,2,3!" His organ sprang to life, larger and stiffer than ever before.

His wife was amazed, she smiled and said,"That's great! But what did you say 1,2,3, for?
_______________________________________

Holes.....
Three men: a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.

"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, therefore St Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."

The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings," With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared.

The mathematician then asked, "Give me the most complicated formula you can ever think of!" With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared, too.

The idiot then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!" The Devil brought forward a chair. "Drill 7 holes on the seat." The Devil did just that. The idiot then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart. Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?"

The Devil inspected the seat and said, "The third hole from the right."
"Wrong," said the idiot, "it's from my asshole." And the idiot went to Heaven.
__________________________________________

Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the customs of American Indians.

While touring a reservation during the documentary, she was puzzled as to why the difference in the number of feathers in the headdresses. So she asked a brave why he had only one feather in his headdress and his reply was, "Only have one woman -- one woman, one feather."

Feeling the first fellow was only joking, she asked another brave. This brave had two feathers in his headdress, and he replied, "Me have two women-- two women, two feathers."

Still not convinced the feathers indicated the number of sexual partners involved, she decided to interview the Chief. Now the Chief had a headdress full of feathers, which, needless to say, amused Ms. Walters. She asked the Chief, "Why do you have so many feathers in your headdress?"

The Chief proudly pounded his chest and said: "Me Chief, me sleep with 'em all. "Big, small, fat and tall - me sleep with 'em all!"

Horrified, Ms. Walters stated, "You ought to be hung." The Chief said: "You damn right, me hung, big like buffalo, long like snake."

Ms. Walters cried, "You don't have to be so hostile." The Chief replied: "Hoss-style, dog-style, wolf-style, any style, me sleep with 'em all."

With tears in her eyes, Ms. Walters cried, "Oh, dear. "The Chief said: "No deer. Ass too high, run too fast."
___________________________________________

There was this guy,Tom, who really loved his girlfriend. He loved her so much that he wanted to tattoo her name,"Wendy" on his dick. So he went to his friend who specializes in tattooing.

His friend then suggested doing the tattoo while his dick is erected so that the name can be tattooed bigger and clearer. Tom agreed and went to erect his dick and had "Wendy" tattooed on it. He was very satisfied, there was a "Wy" on his dick when not erected and he dreamt of surprising his girlfriend by showing her the change from "Wy" to "Wendy" when he gets hard.

So he called her quickly and arranged a meeting that evening. Before their date, he went to the toilet to piss and there he met this American with a "Wy" on his dick too, when he was pissing at the urinal.

Thinking that this American might have tattooed his girlfriend's name too, Tom confronted him. The American denied, saying that it is not Tom's girlfriend's name.

Tom wouldn't accept verbal denial and suggested erecting both their dicks to compare. The American agreed and they both started arousing themselves. Tom was first to erect and was proud to show the American, saying," Look, this is my girlfriend's name, Wendy."

The American soon erected his dick and showed to Tom and said," Look, it is not your girlfriend's name." It said," Welcome to America and have a nice day".
__________________________________________

Frank was so excited to be going bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Then there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.

The black bear said, "You've got two choices. I either maul you to death or we have sex." Frank decided to bend over. He felt sore for two weeks.
Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it. There was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him.

The grizzly said "That was a huge mistake, Frank. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we'll have rough sex." Again, Frank thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it would take several months before Frank finally recovered. Outraged he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned round to find a giant polar bear standing there.
.
.
.
.
.
.
,
The polar bear said:- "Admit it, Frank. You don't come here for the hunting did you?"
__________________________________________

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day,carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!"

After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!). The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, $165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk.

The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?" The old lady replied, "I make bets." The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?"

The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." "Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!" The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!" The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 am as a witness?"
"Sure!" replied the confident president.

That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there
was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.

The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the
president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!"

The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.

"Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure." Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall.

The president asked the old lady,

"What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?"

She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 am today, I'd have The Bank of Canada's president's balls in my hand."
__________________________________________

hahahaha. Nights! (:

2008-03-27T20:56:00.002+08:00

Hmmm, its been long since i've shared jokes. So here they are folks! (=
_____________________________________________

Breast Awareness

A family is sitting around the supper table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there? The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a women`s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, see them and they make you cry." This infurated the wife and daughter so the daughter said."Mom, how many kinds of penises are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and looks at her daughter and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In a man`s twenties, his penis is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree?" "Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only!"
_____________________________________________

Lunch Time

It was his last day on the job and the mailman had mixed emotions. On one hand,he was glad to be retiring; on the other, he`d miss seeing the beautiful young married woman he`d fancied for the last few years. As he approached the woman`s house for the last time, he was both shocked and delighted when she greeted him in a sheer negligee and invited him in. He didn`t need to be asked twice, and the woman promptly shut the door,pulled him to the floor and made love to him amidst the morning mail. After, she served him a delicious lunch. While he was finishing his meal,she went to her purse and pulled out a ten dollar bill and handed it to the mailman.He looked up. "I don`t understand. Why are you paying me?" "It was my husband`s idea. When I told him you were retirng,he said,"Screw him,give him ten bucks." "The lunch," she added proudly,"was my idea."
____________________________________________

House Maid

A little boy walked in on his parents having sex. He sees his mom bouncing up and down on his dad, and he says "Mommy, what are you doing?" She said, "Well, daddy's too fat so I thought I'd try to flatten him out." The boy replied, "Why bother, every Tuesday the maid comes over and blows him back up again!"
____________________________________________

Ugly People

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."

Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing.
Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.

The guy calms down and says: " Make 'em all ugly again."
___________________________________________

Keep Rollin' Rollin'

The doc told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it,"He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he realized his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate.

He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?"He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?" The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted." Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."
____________________________________________

An Expensive Shower

A beautiful young woman gets out of the shower, wraps a towel around her body and tells her husband that he can get in the shower. As he enters the shower, the doorbell rings.
The wife says she'll get the door and goes downstairs.
When she opens the door, she sees her neighbor, Bill, whose mouth opens wide at the sight of her shimmering form.
He pulls out two one hundred dollar bills and tells her that they are hers if she will just let the towel fall to her waist.
She thinks why not and drops the towel down and takes the money.
Bill gasps at the sight and shows her two more hundreds and offers them if she will just let the towel go altogether.
She thinks she has come this far so what the heck and drops the towel to the ground.
Bill looks for a minute, thanks her and leaves.
When she got back upstairs, her husband had completed his shower and asks her who was at the door. She says just Bill.
The husband replies, "Did he say anything about the $400 he owes me?"
______________________________________________

2008-03-25T07:22:00.002+08:00

UPDATED!

i'm sick.
Flu, blocknose, sorethroat, slight cough, slight fever, body aches.

Ugh.

Later i shld go take 1week of MCs, from my friendly old neighbour doctor.

But, firsttttt! Kill me pls!

Movies , blogs and my bed kept my company during this 2 days, and tmr too i guess since i'm not going school.

Check out this blog anyway ... IDIOTWIFE.

Doc was pretty nice, gave me 2 days MC + for ytd, which he wrote under remarks asking the school to excuse me for ytd. hahaha.

After slping for 18+ hours, i'm still feeling sick. Soooooooo, goodnights all. Sorry (:

2008-03-24T02:03:00.003+08:00

UPDATED!

Finally watched sky of love. It was a for girls movie only. Because i could like have fallen aslp in the movie, and it wasnt really touching when its so predictable. lol. aiya, NOTTTTTT bad lar. But really not for me, i cant cry when everyone is crying, i'll just laugh lar? LOL!

Maybe its because, i've watched leap years, watched p.s i love you and finally sky of love all within 2weeks, and i've become numb to love stories? hahaha. Maybe!

Liverpool lost to man utd 3-0. Arsenal lost to chelsea 2-1. Its a sad sad day.

My back really is aching terribly, i'm turning in. Nights loves.

Watched Justice League : The New Frontier and I'm legend today, superman in JL was lousy. period. lol. And anyway, i'm legend is much more touching than sky of love : )I enjoy it more even thou i've watched it twice (:

I didnt go school today, when i woke up at 645am, i tot to myself, i deserve a day off, and tadah. i'm at home slacking my time away. My back is still aching anyway, so yeah. wadever.
just to add something,last night, was out at the coffeeshop eating dessert with Adrian when the aunty who sold us the dessert said to adrian while pointing to me in chinese :" is this your younger brother?"

LOL

I'm 21, he's 19.

Its 5.59pm, the sky looks so beautiful now. Lighting up the darkness.

Till then.

2008-03-17T19:14:00.011+08:00

and know the stars are holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight.

As days passed by, life just came to a standstill, to a point where nothing else matters.

The pressure built up when my laptop crashed, i had to reformat it and lost quite a number of important documents. My phone died on me, guess she had leukaemia and in need of help soon, but just got no time to bring her to the service centre for a checkup. And i got to dig up my old mate which is a nokia 6120, as because i was too lazy to use the iphone which wasnt as user friendly as it seems to be. Takes quite a long time for getting used.

Then, my credit card bills chalked up an amazing $1k for last month, which i swear i got no idea what i've spent it on. Its not the money that matters, but the mum, when
she knows about it and believe me, its bad news when she found out, very.

And results was coming out on 15 march, which was another blow to me. And i sunk lower than cheap donut.

Not to mention the lousy clubbing sessions i went and my friend of all days, had to be drunk, and i got no bloody choice but to take care of him and totally spoil my mood.

Days which i dread were Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays from 6am-6pm. and believe me, i can be in a really foul mood during this period of time.

And its either i have totally nothing to do in school, i could go watch a movie, played soccer, kick some balls, gym, swim, make out, slap myself, play online big2, mahjong and wadever you could think of till i cant take it and take off for home, or i'm a busy bee, running around chasing my lecturers and group-mates or in meetings or driving around with my group-mate sourcing for the right items.

But things turned out better today, it just couldnt get worst, thats self-comforting, as always.

My lappy turned out fine, glad i didnt have to send for a repair and soon authorities would come knocking on my door. Not the Edison type, but more of the movies, songs, and every download able copyrighted items all found here in my harddrive. And i could have lost all my Jessica alba's pictures. Thank God.

My phone was a gone case, i've chucked it one side and starting to use my iphone, thank God for many spare phones at home, even a new one in a sealed up box. And yes, still learning the iphone, might take some time before getting used. Sorry for the late replies to anyone's smses (:

The bill was overshadowed by the arrival of my father. When he touched down in Singapore 3days ago, and my mum nagged to him about me, and my dad smiled and said never mind, small case. He rocked. No wonder i have the urge to go shopping. hehh.

Results turned out fine, that was the biggest worry and glad that it was over and yeah man, an improvement. University of London , i'm coming.

I admit, i fancy clubbing once every week, it brings down stress levels and thus prolonging my life. When stress builds up till the end of the week, i just got to bust the stress bubble out all at one go, or else, i couldnt imagine, i bottle it all up and carry on to the next week. I could like melt and sink into the ground. hehh. But phuture on Fridays wasnt that bad for the past few times i went. join me if you can? Might be going down this wed for a change anyway.

School is the only point i've yet to overcome and only time could help. Till i'm done with my project, then i would be finally done with school and there're no shortcuts, no do it again, i made my mistakes, got nowhere to run.

The night goes on as i'm fading away.
I'm sick of this life, i just wanna scream.

Angels? believe me, i need God himself.

2008-03-16T03:53:00.000+08:00

Chorus
Shawty had them Apple Bottom Jeans [Jeans]
Boots with the fur [With the fur]
The whole club was lookin at her
She hit the flo [She hit the flo]
Next thing you know
Shawty got low low low low low low low low

Them baggy sweat pants
And the Reeboks with the straps [With the straps]
She turned around and gave that big booty a smack [Ayy]
She hit the flo [She hit the flo]
Next thing you know
Shawty got low low low low low low low low

Verse 1
I ain’t never seen nuthin that’ll make me go,
this crazy all night spendin my dough
Had a million dollar vibe and a bottle to go
Dem birthday cakes, they stole the show
So sexual, she was flexible
Professional, drinkin X and ooo
Hold up wait a minute, do i see what I think I
Whoa
Did I think I seen shorty get low
Ain’t the same when it’s up that close
Make it rain, I’m makin it snow
Work the pole, I got the bank roll
Imma say that I prefer them no clothes
I’m into that, I love women exposed
She threw it back at me, I gave her more
Cash ain’t a problem, I know where it goes

She had them

Chorus
Apple Bottom Jeans [Jeans]
Boots with the fur [With the fur]
The whole club was lookin at her
She hit the flo [She hit the flo]
Next thing you know
Shawty got low low low low low low low low

Them baggy sweat pants
And the Reeboks with the straps [With the straps]
She turned around and gave that big booty a smack
[Ayy]
She hit the flo [She hit the flo]
Next thing you know
Shawty got low low low low low low low low

Verse 2
Hey
Shawty what I gotta do to get you home
My jeans full of gwap
And they ready for Shones
Cadillacs Maybachs for the sexy grown
Patrone on the rocks that’ll make you moan

One stack (come on)
Two stacks (come on)
Three stacks (come on, now that’s three grand)
What you think I’m playin baby girl
I’m the man, I’ll bend the rubber bands

That’s what I told her, her legs on my shoulder
I knew it was ova, that Henny and Cola
Got me like a Soldier
She ready for Rover, I couldn’t control her
So lucky oo me, I was just like a clover
Shorty was hot like a toaster
Sorry but I had to fold her,
Like a pornography poster
She showed her

Chorus
Apple Bottom Jeans [Jeans]
Boots with the fur [With the fur]
The whole club was lookin at her
She hit the flo [She hit the flo]
Next thing you know
Shawty got low low low low low low low low

Them baggy sweat pants
And the Reeboks with the straps [With the straps]
She turned around and gave that big booty a smack [Ayy]
She hit the flo [She hit the flo]
Next thing you know
Shawty got low low low low low low low low

Verse 3
Whoa
Shawty
Yea she was worth the money
Lil mama took my cash,
and I ain’t want it back,
The way she bit that rag,
got her them paper stacks,
Tattoo Above her crack,
I had to handle that,

I was on it, sexy woman, let me shownin
They be want it two in the mornin
I’m zonin in them rosay bottles foamin
She wouldn’t stop, made it drop
Shorty did that pop and lock,
Had to break her off that gwap
Gah it was fly just like my glock

Chorus
Apple Bottom Jeans [Jeans]
Boots with the fur [With the fur]
The whole club was lookin at her
She hit the flo [She hit the flo]
Next thing you know
Shawty got low low low low low low low low

Them baggy sweat pants
And the Reeboks with the straps [With the straps]
She turned around and gave that big booty a smack [Ayy]
She hit the flo [She hit the flo]
Next thing you know
Shawty got low low low low low low low low

2008-03-14T19:57:00.001+08:00

As i saw the sun drawing its last ray across the sky, it gave me a very warm feeling (:

2008-03-12T01:36:00.001+08:00

Its gonna be one of those fucked up week i'm going thru. And i can feel it in my bones. Yes. fucked up.

Cant wait to go zouk this friday and get drunk and just get laid or something. fuck.

just feel like letting the demon in me loose alr. tsk.

bye.

2008-03-02T19:40:00.002+08:00

I must have post this song lyrics a million times, but still i love it ( :

Never meant to hurt you
But I know I did
Knocking on the door
Baby something gotta give
Chasing all these women
Thats just how us rappers live
I know I did a lot of things that you cant forgive
I was so weak when I shoulda been strong
I was on the road and you were home alone
In the back of my mind
I knew that it was all wrong
Its Bonnie and Clyde
Just you and me from now on

I never been faithful before in my life
Didn't understand the words husband and wife
Every time I cheated on you cut you like a knife
I'm so ashamed i could take my own life
Trying to keep my image up
I lied and hit cha
Had to be a rapper
Couldn't be seen with ya
Use to call me late night cuz you really miss me
I aint even answer cuz I was out tricking
Smelling like perfume, coming home late
Another group of chicks
So many damn mistakes
Everything i said you knew that it was fake
a million tears rolling down your precious little face

Never meant to hurt you
But i know i did
Knocking on the door
Baby something gotta give
Chasing all these women
Thats just how us rappers live
I know i did a lot of things that you cant forgive
I was so weak when I shoulda been strong
I was on the road and you were home alone
In the back of my mind
I knew dat it was all wrong
Its Bonnie and Clyde
Just you and me from now on

Where ever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

So many times i took you for granted
So much pain i know you cant stand it
Embarrassed you in front of your whole family
The way dat I acted I shoulda won a Grammy
a million pieces
I shattered you apart
You gave me all your trust and i broke your heart
Trying to be a thug out here acting all hard
Late night picking up chicks in your car
I do anything if i can take you back
Just you and me in my first Cadillac
You were a lil gangster chick wearing my hat
Took it all for granted everything dat i had

Never meant to hurt you
But I know I did
Knocking on the door
Baby something gotta give
Chasing all these women
Thats just how us rappers live
I know i did a lot of things that you cant forgive
I was so weak when I shoulda been strong
I was on the road and you were home alone
In the back of my mind
I knew dat it was all wrong
It was bonnie and Clyde
Just you and me from now on

Where ever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

Never meant to hurt you
But i know i did
Knocking on the door
Baby something gotta give
Chasing all these women
Thats just how us rappers live
I know i did a lot of things that you cant forgive
I was so weak when I shoulda been strong
I was on the road and you were home alone
In the back of my mind
I knew dat it was all wrong
Its Bonnie and Clyde
Just you and me from now on

2008-02-29T21:10:00.001+08:00

Feeling emo, zouk anyone? ):

Bye.

2008-02-28T01:26:00.005+08:00

Just finsh watching the movie " A walk to remember. "

Nice movieeeee. 2 Thumbs up! : )

Its About this guy who's mr famous(Shane West) chasing this gal who's ms nerdy(Mandy moore) in school. Then one day, they had to act in a play together and they somehow got the main role, and the spark started with a kiss.

But mr famous is a troublemaker in school and ms nerdy is the pastor's daughter, its tough being together. But somehow, mr famous got her hand by even asking permission from her father. She had wishes, simple but afew wishes, and he touched her by trying to accomplish some wishes for her. heh.

They are both deeply in love, when one day, she broke the news to him, that she got cancer and her days are numbered. He's hurt, upset but didnt let her down and keep assuring that he's there for her throughout all, did little things to cheer her up, did all he could. Even asking for her hand in marriage. They spend wad little time they had on their summer vacation till she's gone. And he buckup and attended medical school which is her dream.

Speaking of which, she said she knew God had bigger plans for her than wad she want to do now, means... she knew God took her away because its best for her.

And everynow and then, he misses her. And quoted from the movie " her love is like the wind, i cant see it, but i can feel it."

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

You might tell me that this kinda things happens only in the movies .. may have different thinkings. But i'm here to tell you again that it may have already had happened and if i'm not wrong, this movie is based on a true story. And bring closer to our lands, i got a blog here, about this gal writing or blogging to her dead boyfriend who passed away in a motorcycle accident years ago.

http://zongxun.blogspot.com/

My heart would sink whenever i read those posts about wad she wrote about him, with him and to him. Its really heart warming and tells us that life is short, learn how to treasure and really think about your love ones and even friends or anyone near you. Because you'll never know what's gonna happened next.

LOVE is a happy thing.

It makes us laugh.

It makes us sing.

It makes us sad.

It makes us cry.

It makes us seek the reason why.

It makes us take.

It makes us give.

Above all else it makes us LIVE.

So what are you waiting for? (:

Sweeeetest dreams, folks.

2008-02-27T01:30:00.005+08:00

Just finished watching storm the yard. Ita the second time i'm watching. Ohmann, love that movie. So anyway, i didnt attend school today, couldnt get up and wasnt feeling so darn well anyway. That doesnt matter does it? Hehhh.

Went supper at pratahouse lastnight with jas and adrian then we brought a cake and celebrated her belated birthday at some playground. Was fun as always hanging out together late nights. lol.

The only picture taken during the whole night, sweet couple.

And mum surprised me a few days ago when she said she wanna buy me a new cross, i suggested by just asking for the money, then i go find one myself maybe at some cool shop but she said no. She's getting one at Goldheart, then my eyes tinkle up. *_* heh.

Didnt expect her to buy me anything anymore this year after the big spendings at macau, so anyway, to sum up all those presents which i cannot afford from her...

GoldHeart tiny 11 Diamond Cross.

Lacoste Shoe.

Gucci Wallet.

Random, seen a million dollars?

Guess soon i can afford to have my lamborghini next.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

the flaming one at zouk.

2008-02-25T22:47:00.002+08:00

Weird saloon.

I always complain after a haircut. This time round, it isnt gonna be much different.

I think after so much moolahs spend on the saloon, i understand their concept very clearly this time round.

Trim = cut.
Cut = Botak.
Botak = BALD !

Try asking for bald, they gonna bring the head chopping machine out next.

And never raise your voice at the aunty like wad i did: " Aunty, trim ahhh. Just trimtrimtrim can already. thanks"

After 18mins, i open my eyes.. :" ehh aunty, why u put a botak picture infront of me, where's the mirror?"

Aunty :" -.-'' Thats YOU wad. So humsome!

JH :" -Slit wrist- "

2008-02-24T04:00:00.003+08:00

Friendster Message: hello. Junhao, i wna tell you something...
you look like one of the guy (left)on cleo's cover page. the march issue. ok, the supestar guy, daren.heeees.

Facebook Message: younger version of Alex To??? charming... keep it up...

MSN Message: Ohyeah, before i forget again, you look like that darren smth, that cheena superstar. LOL.
___________________________

Erms, okay -.- #82721201213821930180 person to say i look like daren. Hmmm. actually, i would refer to say he looks like me can? LOL! Okay lar, not as handsome as him lar. Die bitch. -.-

Tskk, its 415am, i cant slp =/ And tmr got church.

Sighhhh, i go play games. bye peeps.

2008-02-20T01:45:00.003+08:00

*UPDATED!*

Watched Jumper, Hitman, Gameplan, Step up 2.

All fantastic shows : D

Anyway, studying time. No more outings, no more gym sessions, no more pool, no more slacking around, no more supper, no more movies, no more nothing. Dont you dare try to call me out or i'll bite. No joke, go meet you, bite you then i go home study. Thats wad i'm gonna do! Roar! Am not giving up without a fight. Just bring it muther fucking books, time for bed anyway.

Nights losers.

I tried to study but nothing seems to be going into my head. Damn, sometimes i ask myself whywhyyyyyy am i so dumb. Lol. Guess cant be help? : )

And i wanna watch P.S i love you and guess wad? the Fucking website is downn!

Wah, i almost cried. Okay, maybe not.. but yeah. Damn sad =(

Its okay jh, addoil. Dont let yourself down this time : )

2008-02-18T00:47:00.003+08:00

Candy dreams kid : )

2008-02-17T02:32:00.002+08:00

JUICY!

K, this is done by xiaxue i guess and its kinda lame but yeah. LoL.

Click it if you're Above the legal age and make sure nobody is behind you looking : )

Man United just Trash poor Arsenal. This just spoilt my day. Goodnight.

2008-02-14T02:11:00.003+08:00

Hiding from the rain and snow.

Happy Valentines day : )

Trying to forget but i wont let go.

No point being emo, this is my dunno what year spending it at home already! But its just another day i guess. When both person are in love, everyday is valentines, everyday is special.

Looking at the crowded street.

Exams is around the corner, no time no mood no $ for going out anyway. Better buck up this time as its my final chance.

Listening to my own heart beat.

Will blog about my HK/Macau trip maybe tmr and post all the pictures =)
My hair is drying up at last, goodnights peeps and enjoy ya day : )

They say nothing last forever , we're only here today.

2008-02-12T12:20:00.000+08:00

After so much had happened when i was away for only 3 days, was totally disappointed when you started all these. It was my fault, needless to say. So i've paid the price, with blood. And further more words exchange isnt gonna affect anything anymore, i made up my tiny peabrain of my decision and gonna just disappear from this lil world. And now i'm saying goodbye to all and thanks for the memories.

hey... hey... hey... hey... Ohhh..Ohhh Ohhh

No matter what you say about love,
I keep coming back for more,
Keep my hand in the fire,
sooner or later I get what I'm asking for
no matter what you say about life,
I learn every time I bleed the truth is a
stranger soul is in danger
I gotta let my spirit be free to..
admit that I'm wrong and then change my mind
sorry but I have to move on and leave you behind

(Chorus)
I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize nothing's broken
No need to worry bout everything I done
live every second like it was my last one
don't look back got a new direction
I loved you once
needed protection
you're still a part of everything I do
you're on my heart just like a tattoo
just like a tattoo I'll always have you
I'll always have you
I'll always have you

I'm sick of playing all of these games
Its not bout taking sides
when I looked in the mirror,
it didn't deliver, it hurt enough to think that I could stop
admit that I'm wrong and then change my mind
sorry but I got to be strong and leave you behind

I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize nothing's broken no need to worry bout everything I done
live every second like it was my last one
don't look back got a new direction
I love you once
needed protection
you're still a part of everything I do
you're on my heart just like a tattoo
just like a tattoo
I'll always have you
I'll always have you
I'll always have you

if I live every moment,
won't change any moment,
there's still a part of me in u
I will never regret you
still the memory of you
marks everything I do.
oooh..

(Chorus)2x
I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize nothing's broken no need to worry bout everything I done
live every second like it was my last one
don't look back got a new direction
I loved you once
needed protection
you're still a part of everything I do
you're in my heart just like a tattoo

just like a tattoo
I'll Always have you..

2008-02-06T02:18:00.000+08:00

Hellos, i'm here to blog my 98th post since july 2007 and i think 500-700posts since i started blogging 3years ago? lol. Yes. its been long since i've updated. Felt that not much of a point lately, and recently has been really busy too. And life is as boring as before : )

Am here to blog actually is to bid farewell, i'm leaving. To a land not far, yet not near. Many ups and downs in life to say, everything happened for a reason and sometimes we cant understand but all we got to do is move on.

Often we ask ourselves why this why that, but most of the time, it isnt necessary and we cant understand but life goes on the way it does : )

I might be gone for 1 week, might take up to 2weeks , 1month , 6months, 1year, or forever.

I choose to leave my phone, laptop, and every contactable things at home is for a reason and i'll stand by it. Hopefully within the time i've left, i can really think it over for all the knots in my heart for every little matter. Hopefully.

Lastly, take care folks! I cant say i love you kids, too gay. Not manly at all. So maybe like - Goodbye bitches ! MWAAAAH : )
_____________________________________

Why does the sun go on shining?
Why does the sea rush to shore?
Don't they know it's the end of the world,
`cause you don't love me anymore?

Why do the birds go on singing?
Why do the stars glow above?
Don't they know it's the end of the world?
It ended when I lost your love.

I wake up in the morning and I wonder why ev'rything's the same as it was.
I can't understand, no I can't understand, how life goes on the way it does!

Why does my heart go on beating?
Why do these eyes of mine cry?
Don't they know it's the end of the world?
It ended when you said good-bye.

2008-01-20T22:47:00.000+08:00

Sometimes When We Touch - Dan Hill

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by

At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

2007-12-27T11:34:00.000+08:00

Yup, you've guessed it. This would be my last and only post for the year 2007. Heh. Started back blogging around july and within a flash, its DEC : D And another few more days, its gonna be JAN 2008. Welcome pretty.

Things has been pretty fine, Just alittle update, for my last post of 2008 : D

15th dec. Went for the church wedding + dinner. Fabulous i must say, touching stories, beautiful moments, tears and laughter. The feeling of being at a friend's wedding was so different, because i can actually feel their joy, their love and everything because i know them, i'm close with them :) That point of time, my mind was like thinking of falling in love all over again. The joy, the fun, the laughters, the hugs and the kisses.. haha. ohwells.

Sadly, even the longest banquet had to end one day, but it was really a joyful moment shared with all the couple friends. And i'm the only 1 in my batch was invited. Speaks about how much vaule the rest of my batch peoples.

Went drinking at thumper ( to get it, guys have to be 28yrs of age. wow right? -.-) after the wedding with pat, jere, and his sisters, and a few more i forgotten. hehh. Then shortly, i had to leave first, because i was damn tired and had to work the next day, so i went off with his elder sister. On the way back was filled with memories, because his sister did asked quite a number of questions and i was like filling her with all the details of how i met with jere and patty, and got to know them, till date and become best friends.

Best friends are not judge by how long being together as friends, but how much effort have we place into this friendship that could really be as best friends. We are best friends because we stay around for each other in times of need, whenever and ever. Not disappear when any one of us got a gf or too busy with work or always giving lame excuses just not to meet up once awhile.

NEXTTTT!

16 Dec. Sunday.
Skipped church because of work, i didnt mean to, but i got no choice. Went fitting of the sexy hot trunks and angel wings. haha. From 4pm the casting started, made our way to stjames at around 6pm, then reheashal and all rubbish till like 9pm, and till 4am in the morning. 12hours. Sheesh.

But it was rather sweet and really really really x 100 to power of 10, really surprising to see EUNICE, YUTING, And DENNIS to come down to st james to find me lar. HAHA! They wanna snaps pictures of me in my hot trunks and angel wings. So mean lar? HAHA! kk, lame. But no, i didnt did the runway, i choose to do the selling of calendars. HEHEHEHEH. no need wear trunks : D

But yeah, really nice of them to come around 10pm, and i didnt realised it till like 1am. And they stand behind me, and screammmm! Like totally, 3 gals scream into my ears. So omg can? Heh. The wings almost flap off lar. ha.

Then on 19th, we went rouge to have fun and i happily drank too much and got superfreaking high and need support to get out of the club and got sent home : )
That night, i met smellymelly, haha, cute little gal.. but sorry, didnt get the chance to talk much, by the time you have reached, i was like very high and lying on the sofa already. Dumb me. okay. i know. hehh.

Then 21st, went zouk ! ZOUK WAS DUMB! New reentry rules, totally spoiler. fucked up. Went home around 130am. Was kinda pissed. tsk.

23rd, went church. Finally met up with chris, cynthia, mike, jaq, xianghui, serena, and gang. haha. its been a month, haha. missed them lots : )

And 24th, partying of cos! Went for a movie, i'm LEGEND! Pretty niceeee. And rachie is backkk from canada : D hahaha! welcome back =) After movie with jere, rach, pat and shiling. Went boat quay but was like totally cannot make it. Ahbengs and Ahlians swarm the place and was like totally packed and cannot make it, Anytime also can get into fight. Hehh.

So we head down to tanjong pagar to find zhao, gab and gang. Was kinda okay place, because it was RNB music. haha. Overall, was pretty alright xmas i've spent =)

25th, Xmas day. Went to my uncle's wake at yishun, the uncle who had cancer 2-3years ago. I rmb blogging about him, speaking about how short life is, its really true. Its reallyreally heart aching that white hair people sending back hair people off. Tsktsk, that uncle dislike my family as i can recalled from a very young age, as we were not that well off and so, he disliked us. But, in his last 2 years, he changed his mindset, as my family did alot to help him during this stage even thou he disliked us, and even treated us differently at times and we wouldnt expect it.

Its okay, everyone who hate us, who dislike us, life still goes on. We will improve and change too, its like. It really dont really matters if you like or dislike, because its us : D We came to this world ALONE, we leave this world ALONE. How much richness, how much treasure, how much things we got, we cant bring it along. So i'm very open towards life actually. If you're not looking in my direction, who cares? Hehh.

After that, went meet roxy, sarah, boma and zhao. We went to play dota at amk. HAHA! That was fun, once awhile... owned them. Trash them, but still lost in the end, sigh. Me and zhao too noob already. hahaha! After that went watch the books of treasure or something like tat, pretty nice show also i must say : D

29th , this coming sat will be going down to jemmie's place for the first time, for bbqing and zouk i think. Not too sure about the plans.

31st , monday. COUNTDOWN!

2007 might be a good year, might be not a good year for any of you. It depends on how you loook at it : )

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE, THANKS FOR THIS YEAR, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENED, MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS AND WISHES COMES TRUE THE FOLLOWING YEAR : D

2007-12-19T12:44:00.000+08:00

And I know there's nothing I can say,
To change that part.
To change that part.
To change...

So many bright lights that cast a shadow,
But can I speak?
Well, is it hard understanding
I'm incomplete?

A life that's so demanding,
I get so weak.
A love that's so demanding,
I can't speak.

I am not afraid to keep on living.
I am not afraid to walk this world alone.
Honey, if you stay I'll be forgiving.
Nothing you can say could stop me going home.

Can you see my eyes are shining bright?
'Cause I'm out here on the other side
Of a jet black hotel mirror.
And I'm so weak.

Is it hard understanding
I'm incomplete?
A love that's so demanding,
I get weak.

I am not afraid to keep on living.
I am not afraid to walk this world alone.
Honey, if you stay I'll be forgiving.
Nothing you can say could stop me going home.
________________________________________

Last night was terrible. horrible. Worst night out ever. But maybe its because i just didnt wanna stay awake.

I just couldnt wanna stop drinking, i'm in that thin line of high and drunk. That was my intention anyway. And believe it, i'm suffering from the after effects.

Thanks to everyone who took care of me last night, thanks. if not, i'll be ... you know. heh.

Things just aint fair. Life’s aint fair. So so true.

Just leave me alone and let me rot, folks : D

Its the xmas seasons, you dont need a guy like me to spoil it all alright : D

nights.

2007-12-17T04:34:00.001+08:00

happy birthday roxy, see you at rouge tomorrow : D

2007-12-14T17:07:00.000+08:00

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.

Betray my trust , Spoil my mood , Spoil my day, Spoil my everything.

ugh, fuck it. Shoo till you've grown up and understand wad to say and wads not to say.

Fucking pissed.

2007-12-10T00:50:00.000+08:00

Yeah, i know i shld be studying. But yeah, she smsed farewell. And maybe she's right. i'm just not good enough to be her friend because she said she trusted me the most and yet i'm always letting her down. Yes... thinking of it, i agree.

I couldnt have agreed more, i'm a jerk. Not good enough to be friends of many.

Reasons were obvious of why i'm upset, as its because she was my best friend, a friend whom we had nothing hidden, everything shared together for the past 2 yrs, which we were closer than bread and peanut butter.

Yup, thats wad i called TRUE friends, not one who anyhow bomb say friends for 7yrs yet, only give bullshit and problems.

7 years, i can say i'm always the big brother. always helping him, when he's in trouble, when he's down, when he's needy. when he made mistakes, who help him cover, who didnt say a thing when he watch porn in sch? lol. who rather let him have the rank(ssgt)cum crossbelt and go show off while the other see his friend being happy is enough? who talked to him, who's being there as a friend when NOBODY likes him? when everyone outcass him, who stand by him? WHO. who's always the stronger one, who teaches him so much things? and who is really there for who? And when a 7yr friend got gf, who went MIA for so long and only calls when he needs help? tsk. wad is friendship if thats the case. Nahh. just turns into hi bye. Judging others when you're unholy yourself just turns me off, get a life, get a mirror.

Yet, i dare to say, i treasure those who are truthful in the heart, 2yrs, or even 3 days friendship rather than these bullshit.

We all have countless of friends in our life, but only real true ones hang on, are you one of them? Time wouldnt tell, but effort put in will .. : )

I'm pretty upset, those that i would want to treasure , yet i couldnt. Be it retribution but i dont believe in it. As it means, i'm believing in the devil. which is a nono. I'll stand up strong once again, its just a matter of time, and i know it. I just need some quiet time for myself once again : D

takecare and farewell , all : )

2007-12-09T06:58:00.000+08:00

i dunno why i've send you the email, but it doesnt matter much now. So be it, anything, wadeverrrr.

Afterall, i can only say, i've tried ;)
So if the results are like that, i'll accept it then.

i had a dream, it was to bid farewell, hugsmilewave.

Goodbye to you, my trusted friend. I'll keep everything in my memories, it was nice. Before and now, when we were young and innocent, verysweet memories. but since i've made the effort to keep in contact as i can say, you were my best friend, and its not working. I can only smile to myself when i think back, but agree at the same time, its time to move on.

I will now only treasure those who treasures who i am, an imperfect human.
To walk thru the long journey of life.
Growing old, smiling without teeth, hands tremble with walking stick.
we'll still be there for each other.

goodbye to you, my trusted friend.
we've known each other since 17,18.
together, we've made history.
learn of love and ABC.
hug each other tell story.

goodbye my friend, its tough to cry,
when i know i've tried my best.
Now that this is happening,
i couldnt believe it for myself.
think of me and i'll be there.

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.
but the mistakes we both made are just silly to be fun.

fast forwardddd....

Goodbye applepie, my little one.
you gave me love and help me find the sun.
and everytime i was down,
you would always come around,
got my feet up on the ground.

goodbye applepie, its hard to die.
when all the birds are singing in the sky.
now that spring is in the air.
with the flowers everywhere,
i wish that we both could be there : )

2007-12-07T22:34:00.000+08:00

FOR ALL THOSE WHO MISSED IT! (THERE'S NOTHING TO HIDE : )
Read those 4 msges from bottom to up , duh ? Because its from the tagboard : )

Warning , very pissed post. Dont read if u got a small brain.

Tagboard for the past 2 days.

Another Friend
Yes, he will watch OVER you.. But whatever you did, trust me you will be Judge according to it.. dun blog all the nice things.. Your dirty secrets will still float up 1 day..

Another Friend
Pls dunblog about what brothehood bond of just 3 days, when you BETRAYED 1 for that is 7 years.. God is watching your heart and what you say.. God is Watching You...

junhao
lol. thanks.

Name
Hw WILL NEVER get it.. stop wasting your time on this guy xx.. you know he is not worth either
_______________________________

To that two person, NAME and ANOTHERFRIEND. It may be just 1 person. How i know? Because you're not very smart at all. Using 2 different names with 1 computer, it may be a different person, but typing style tells it all? Hmmm, btw, is your real name, NAME or ANOTHERFRIEND ? Or gutless to even put your name? Shameful of your name? hehh.

Firstly, hello. Isnt this MY blog ? Yes, haha. oh i've forgotten, its mine. hahaha.

To that NAME. What stop wasting your time? This guy is not worth it? Ehh, who are you to judge me? How about judging yourself before you judge others? Parents dont teach you? Mannners please? And further more, in my blog infront of me somemore. How sweet.

To that so nice ANOTHERFRIEND , you telling me pls dont blog about so and so? Firstly, who are you? Wad's your status? My father? My mother? My brother? No? Then who the fuck are you to tell me wad to do?

God is watching my heart and wad i said, if you know it, wad the fucking hell are you doing here? You dont have to tell me, i know. I dont have to report to you right. Why you alive since you've sinned so much? Nobody is perfect, so am i. God knows we're not perfect, we've sinned, so we can be saved by Jesus who died on the cross for us. If we dont make mistakes, then why do we need Jesus, or even God himself? WHY ? Go use your pea fucking brain can?

Yes, he'll watch over me. Yes. wadever i did, i'll be judge against, right. As if telling me you dont sin? Who are you again? God ? Or just a bloody mother fucking kpo kid?

Dont blog all the nice things? Who are you again? hehh.
My dirty secrets will float up ? Go ahead, see whose's dirtier? Try lar, try putting the gal to shame, see who can still go church with their head held up high with the last laugh?
________________________________

To cut things short, nice and sweet. In the end, i would like to ask. Who are you to teach, to tell, to scold or to insult me. Whoever you are, you're just a nobody. Get it? And furthermore, this happens to be my blog. I'm in control. My blog, my freedom, my rule. Get it? If in any case, i've blog anything that have insulted you, that have affected you. I would like to apologize and say, would you mind, closing the window? Dont read somethings that will make you upset, and i wouldnt want my thinkings, my writings that would ever made you upset in any case or anyway. Because, afterall, this is my world and you're just a nobody to me.

Seriously, consider stop reading and mind your own business. In short, grow up and grow out of other people's matters and lets not get this flaming going on. I dont care who you are, wad you do for a living, wadever i've done that bothers you, i'll just say sorry. Either you take it or leave it, it doesnt matter to me, my life moves on and i'll still be living good. Mind you once again, this is my blog afterall right. So whatever i've said and done, its for me to know and like what you've said, for God above watching over me. Thankyou, i understand and know. And knows that he'll have a plan for me too. Its still my problem, my life, my matter. Not yours.

Thanks for your concern anyway : )

If you're still very unhappy, you could make an appointment with me and talk to me face to face. Why hide behind a computer desk and flame, when i've giving you the chance to face up to me. I'm currently sick, seriously. And having my exams on monday 10/12 and tuesday 11/12, 14/12 and 16/12 i got appointment to make appearence at stjames, got wedding dinner on 15/12, got many birthday meetups on 16/12 , 17/12 , 30/12 and maybe more. And from 23/12 to 30/12 i'll be at HK. So what you waiting for? I've tell you all my busy dates. Book me to find out what you dislike about me and trash it out now!?

Some random updates,

I love my medication because it makes my hands shakes every now and then, friends told me that its because my body is too weak to take the medication, i believe but i'm like kinda enjoying it feeling this way. lols. Alittle sadist : )

Doc gave me 1week of MC, dunno for wad, so i've put it to great use and skipped pass the last 2 days of school, not very proud of, but i think i deserve some rest.

Went vivo with jiawen, brought for eunice's her birthday present, a very nice caridgon which is not aunty looking at all and a sexy gstring. hahaha! It was jw's idea, and he took the gstring put at the counter and i was like hiding behind, giving my card to the cashier not looking at her, trying to act cool lar. LOL!

More birthdays coming up, christmas too, i'm in such a giving mood lately. My dad had given me a present so big, that when i check my bank account, i couldnt believe it, 3 times as much as the first time he gave. No wonder i'm spending like crazy lately, but of cos, have to report to mum wad i've spent on, otherwise, she'll take away my card -.-'

If only, i'm allowed to spend. First, i'll go get a carrrrrrrr! ugh.

And these few days, besides mugging at home, nothing else i would want to do or to go. If i'm out with you, you must be darn lucky : ) haha. just kidding,

nights people : )

2007-12-04T21:57:00.000+08:00

Mere sickness wouldnt bring me down.

2007-11-30T16:36:00.000+08:00

Went for the wake on wednesday. Very touching i must say, emotions are running high for everyone, most couldnt control and broke down. But despite all these, i must say, their family is putting up a very brave front for all of us to see, to learn and not to be upset but to be happy for rueben has rosed to heaven with his heavenly father watching over us, with his story in our heart, that we'll remember and soon when its our turn, we'll share our stories with him in time to come. Soon.

Week in week out, it has been the same. Final year in poly is terrible, projects, presentation every week. It seems normal after quite some time, coming home almost everyday to research, retype, edit, comply, etc.

Hardly have much time to spare, even for myself. Like doing wad i wanna to do, read book, play game, or even gyming seems rare this month, either i'm just too tired or just couldnt find time to do it. ugh, give me more time please!

okay, heading out to meet jw now, its his birthday tmr, gonna party at zouk till he's drunk, and throw him in bed with some 200pounds babe : )

bye.

2007-11-25T10:41:00.000+08:00

UPDATED.
Time to bid Au revoir.

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/afp/20071125/tap-cambodia-singapore-culture-festival-06f3cb7.html

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/313592/1/.html

I believe God has a plan for all of us, knowing wad have we done and knowing when its time for us to join him in heaven. The people on earth can only bid goodbye and know that he's safe in heaven, watching and smiling at us : )

We often read in the papers about how young and successful a person can be, and at such a young age, they pass away, we wouldnt have felt a thing, but when it's someone you know, a friend, a relative, someone close , the feeling is so much different as it is much deeper, but nothing could be compared to his family, his parents, his friends and those whom know him for so long.

Goodbye brother, rest in peace.
____________________________________________

......Shocking, very.

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/cna/20071125/tap-313526-231650b.html

Guess most of you have heard and read of the missing S'porean already. Isnt it really very saddening and shocking?

The more shocking news is that Reuben Kee which is one of the missing singaporean guy is calendar guy contest, winner. Which is a friend for 3days of my life. 3full days, throughout the competition we guys from the contest have this bond, going thru thick and thin. Nothing was mention but we could feel it. Talking about it, Reuben was very friendly, very active and is really a winner by himself, which he dont hold any airs.

He was the one who taught me, practise with me some of the dance moves and video the instructor dance moves down, and gave me hope to dance at the competition which i truely am gratful for.

He's a very talented guy in music and i did a little research on the net, and found many articals on him, many photos and pictures. A guy of so much talent, so promising and yet till now there's no news of him.

Readers, anyone who came across this blog and this piece of news, hopefully, we could lets all pray for his return, his safety.

These are some of his news and talents ...

Mr Singapore World 1st runner up.

http://www.stomp.com.sg/gallery/mrsingapore/index.html

A talent in the music industry.

http://www.last.fm/music/Reuben%20Kee

http://www.tospeakmovie.com/To%20Speak%20Movie/Updates/E2F6D98F-10A4-40A1-BC9C-7D6DF80DF5BA.html

http://www.animeremix.org/remixer/23/

His own website.

http://www.reubenkee.com/

His creations.

http://www.youtube.com/user/ReubenKee

With all due respect, he's a friend of mine, he's someone i admire with so much talent and still so you young with a long road ahead and i believe God has many plans for him still.

And for all the other 4 rowers's safety return.

Brother, come back : )

2007-11-21T11:44:00.000+08:00

... but if u kissed me now I know you'd fool me again.

Ughh, awoken by the urge to vomit, didnt feel any better after all that redgreenblueorangeyellowpinkpurple water came out of my mouth. I've decided to pack some into small bottles and give out as xmas presents, of cos, best friends always get alittle more than usual : D

Went Plush last night, for some newbie fashion show that is really newbie! lolss, kinda cute actually.

We started off the night drinking a jug of LongIslandTea, then a single shot of duno wad, and finally steam down a lambo. Actually after the tea i was already kinda high but just went along drinking since zhao and dennis wants to drink more.

Actually, this party wasnt too bad, the music was good, the crowd wasnt bad, the dancefloor had lots of space for us and we're feeling so good but tired, i dare to say, we are the only dumbshits dancing around all the time. haha! Having alittle drink always made me high and do weird stuffs, so ughhh. Now that i'm sober, i'm laughing my ass off wad i did last night. lols!

Alright, no more clubbing for tthis week anymore. Because next week, i got afew parties to attend, Zouk levis show on wed i think, then fri/sat is dennis's birthday which to be held at Zouk too. I'm so gonna make him drunk, btw.. dennis is a guy. His full name is Dennis Koh Jiawen, hahha. Gal's name : D But dont blame him, blame his parents ; )

And next next week, got to make appearence at St james, and other small clubs i suppose because of the calendar boy thingy, and on standby for photoshots for the calendar. zzz!

Btw, i've collected all of the calendar prizes of the calendarguy2009 contest except the cash prize which i'm still waiting for. Ughh.

For mr fabulous tan - Free 20 Session of tanning at $889.
For mr photogenic - Free portfollio i think cost ard $400+
For 1st runner up - 1 small hamper containing wad LINGZHI, wad crocodie meat, wad body strengthing thing, wad facial herbal mask etc etc ! $1bug
- 1 everlast bag cost $89
- 1 O.D.M sky blue watch cost $169
- 1 LG ku250 handphone cost $200 i think
- 3 sets of ZIRH face product, clean, defend, claymask, restore, rejuvenate, shave gel, fortify, soothe. Worth around $150 i think. LOL! 8-9tubes of facial -.-'
- 1 ZIRH Corduroy Cologne worth ard $60.
- and some j.p.g(small cologne), bond(from wad i know, this is used to wash my dick), nivea(the condom packaging which is actually suntanlotion), clarins(handcarelotion-.-) maybe all cost ard $1bug lar.
- +10 more free fabulous tan worth $499 (1st runner up award)
- 3mths free membership at california gym at bugis. $1bug.
- Free Micro dermabrasion, bodypolish and anti stress back massage worth $400.
- Converse $300 gift voucher.
- and $350 cash not yet received =/

Alright, blog more soon, preparing to go school with my hangover now, hope i dont do dumb things later : D

goodnight peeps : )

2007-11-19T00:58:00.000+08:00

... When darkness turns to light.

I got so much things to blog about, whats going on in my life.. Church, family, school, some other random, pictures etc but just didnt have the time to do it.

Will try again tomorrow : D

its the start of a new week, gonna be a busy one, collect passport, collect prizes, projects, deadlines, clubbing(maybe), gyming(hopefully), and more stories to tell.

nights people =)

2007-11-16T03:11:00.000+08:00

...i may not make it thru the night.

Self declared off day for me today, so stayed at home and slack. Woke up, smsed a little, went back to sleep. Then woke up for lunch, watch Secret - a very nice movie, went back to sleep then gym with zhao.

A nice quiet and peaceful day for me, seriously.. i was getting all tensed up this week and i really needed this off day, otherwise, i'm going insane.. somehow.

Wanted to gym and swim+sunbath , do some catching up on reading, but the weather is very unstable, sunny, raining, sunny. Sheeh. Forget it, so i went to nap twice : D lols.

Anyway, the movie - secret .. it was indeed not bad, but well.. i dont really like the whole movie, as in i think the last 30mins of the movie could be improved, the storyline wasnt that great for that period of time, otherwise, it could be a really great movie for me.

Love is great, love is blind .. even for a short period of time being together, both person would have really sweet memories and that could be great already right! Why bother going back time to search for that one and only and not to let go? Move on ... ( anyway, i think the other gal who likes jay in the movie, is hotter : D hahaha )

Yup, talking about the movie. lols!

Believe that when God takes away something good from you, he'll give you something better. God is always waiting for you to give up your precious things in your heart now, for something even better than wad you can even imagine.

Anyway, my theory is still living life as it is. When i gym, i always tell myself, i only live once, when i club i still tell myself i only live once, so why frown over something gone, something lost, or something unhappy when God is preparing something better up next! : D

As the old saying goes, wad cant kill you makes you stronger.

Anyway, proud of my 2 gyming buddies here, we've been gyming together for 3-4months already. I think i could see very good improvements over their body and attitude. Ohwell, gyming is something that takes a very long time to see improvement, even thou i always scold them, push them so harshly, yet they're still so hardworking and its the right attitude. Glad to see that way, I'll miss them because i could predict that the next 2 weeks i'll be busy finishing up part 2 of my project and trying to clear all my homeworks and all assignments and presentation powerpoints, busybee i'll be. And i'm happy for them when they smile at their own improvments in their body. haha.

These are the junks i've polished it up while watching secret -_-! Totally no selfcontrol. hehh.

Alright, its 4am, and i need to wake up in 4hours time.

Nights peeps, applepie dreams to all applepie lovers : D

2007-11-14T23:14:00.000+08:00

I won't go home without youuuuuu

Okay, you suck! After like 2173821301 trys then i finally could login to you ! -.-

This week has been pretty fine so far, started off with presentation on monday, went alright, quite smoothly as its last minute work but our teacher was kinda please with wad we've done, not very proud but goodjob. lols!

Tuesday is my off day, that was yesterday, so i went to attica underage party. Firstly, many of my friends going, secondly, i've promised many to go, thirdly.. i've never been to an underage party. So, i went till close. Not really fun larrr, just to show face and to know wad underage party is. Ohwells, wad more can i say, its underage party. Many ahlians and ahbengs, i almost got raped there =X
It sure is my first and last time to an underage party. hahaa, then went supper , reached home at 5am, slpt at 6am.. wake up at 730am, went school, cab down but still late! !@#$$%^&*()_+ : )

But yeah, today's presentation was pretty fine, we just bomb everything we could say and not really totally, but not much questions was asked and everyone was kinda impress sorta thing : )

Gymed alone today, so fun. Shld do this more often. lols!

Dennis Koh Jiawen jioed me go zouk, crazy. Nowadays why all my friends all so chiongster? Tsktsk!

Nights KPOS.

I asked her to stay but she wouldn't listen
She left before I had the chance to say
Oh
The words that would mend the things that were broken
But now it's far too late, she's gone away

Every night you cry yourself to sleep
Thinking: "Why does this happen to me?
Why does every moment have to be so hard?"
Hard to believe that

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you

The taste of your breath, I'll never get over
The noises that you made kept me awake
Oh
The weight of things that remaind unspoken
Built up so much it crushed us everyday

Every night you cry yourself to sleep
Thinking: "Why does this happen to me?
Why does every moment have to be so hard?"
Hard to believe that

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you

Of all the things I felt but never really shown
Perhaps the worst is that I ever let you go
I should not ever let you go, oh oh oh

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you
And I won't go home without you
And I won't go home without you
And I won't go home without you

2007-11-11T03:41:00.000+08:00

Play secretary, I'm the boss tonight.

Yuppp, fought once again, wads new? But this time a little more serious thou, as police was called in and investigation wanna write letter to school to have us sacked etcetc. Alright, thats all folks! No more clubbing for next 2weeks! No more clubbing at ZOUK lar. Others still okay! =X

This week was kinda busy actually, 2 project needa present on monday, and many more homework to be done. Its really quite tiring and stressful, most of the time i feel just like giving up, but at the end of the day, i'll still hang on for the sake of hanging on. Hehhh. I dont even have time to read books! I've like a couple of good books and yet i cant find the time to read, teach me. someoneteach me! Darn it =/

Went gym then went fabulous tanning today, it was great as usual. As i could even squeeze in tanning sessions during the night for a busy guy like me. Hehhhh.

Alright, i duno wad else to blog anymore, its 434am now and i got church tmr so, i guess... GOODNIGHT =)
_________________________________________________

Never meant to hurt you
But I know I did
Knocking on my door
Baby something gotta give
Chasing all these womens
Thas jus how us rappers live
I know I did a lot of things that you cant forgive
I was so weak when I shoulda been strong
I was on the road and you were home alone
In the back of my mind
I knew that it was all wrong
Its bonnie and clyde
Jus u nd me for now on

I never been faithful before in my life
Didn't understand the words husband and wife
Everytime i cheated on you cut you like a knife
Im so ashamed i could take my own life
Trying to keep my image up
I lied to get you
Had to be a rebel
Couldnt be seen with ya
Use to call me late night cuz you really miss me
I aint even answer cuz I was out tricking
Smelling like perfume, coming home late
Another group of chicks
So many damn mistakes
Everyting i said you knew dat it was fake
So many tears rolling down your precious little face

Never meant to hurt you
But i know i did
Knocking on my door
Baby something gotta give
Chasing all these womens
Thas jus how us rappers live
I know i did a lot of things that you cant forgive
I was so weak when i shoulda been strong
I was on the road and you were home alone
In the back of my mind
I knew it was all wrong
Its bonnie and clyde
Jus u nd me for now on

Where ever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

So many times i took you for granted
So much pain i know you cant stand it
Embarrased you in front of your whole family
The way i acted i shoulda won a grammy
We're a million pieces
I shatter you apart
You gave me all your trust and i broke your heart
Trying to be a good guy acting all hard
Late night picking up chicks in your car
I do anything if i can take you back
Just you and me in my first cadillac
You were a lil gangster chick wearing my hat
Took it all for granted everyting i had

Never meant to hurt you
But i know i did
Knocking on my door
Baby something gotta give
Chasing all these womens
Thas jus how us rappers live
I know i did a lot of things that you cant forgive
I was so weak when i shoulda been strong
I was on the road and you were home alone
In the back of my mind
I knew it was all wrong
It was bonnie and clyde
Jus u nd me for now on

Where ever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

Never meant to hurt you
But i know i did
Knocking on my door
Baby something gotta give
Chasing all these womens
Thas jus how us rappers live
I know i did a lot of things that you cant forgive
I was so weak when i shoulda been strong
I was on the road and you were home alone
In the back of my mind
I knew it was all wrong
Its bonnie and clyde
Jus u nd me for now on

2007-11-08T04:55:00.000+08:00

4-6police cars, 3hours of wasting time. Few bruises, 1 day of fun gone.

Blog about it more tomorrow, gonna sleep and waking up early tmr, might go down sentosa : )

nights dumbshits <3

2007-11-06T02:13:00.000+08:00

I'm finding my way back to sanity again

okay, this week is so gonna be not too smooth for me, i can feel it in my bones. I'll just pray that it wouldnt get worst : D

Shall blog more, maybe tomorrow.. now i've darn shag as i've just reached home from dinner and games at Zh's house. Its been long but it sure do feels good : )

let me just end with what cynthia smsed me today :
Happy moments - Priase God.
Difficult moments - Seek God.
Quiet moments - Worship God.
Painful moments - Trust God.
Every moment - Thank God.

2007-11-04T02:45:00.000+08:00

Its only a day, but it felt like a lifetime.

To move forward would seems like i'm making a U-turn in my life, so do i want to go back to square one once again? I doubt so. Put the blame it on me, i like things to be kept simple, simple is just so me. Once things gets complicated, take it as i'm running away, hiding from it. wadeverr, but either things goes my way - simple, or i'm not there.

It really spoils my day when mornings are like this, even before i'm fully awake, things like this happens, and it never does before. totally ruin everything. thanks.

Looks like this week isnt so great afterall, would church be great tomorrow? It better be, or i might not take it and commit sucide, hehh.

If i'm not wrong, tomorrow service would be on wisdom and intelligence. From what i know, whatever happens during my week, and it reaches on sunday, God always speaks to me thur service, the first week i went FCBC, it was about inner peace, just what i need for myself to bring myself back to the Lord. Secondly, it was about family harmony, as that point of time, i was clubbing 3 times every week, and thus my family was very upset and father was overseas etc etc.

or how about previous week? Friendship and relationship, dont you think i need it? Like darn badly? : )

If there's no special service, it would go with plan and it will be wisdom and intelligence, so i suppose it would mean something i shld know from my father in heaven.

His advice, his word, his touch, his love for me. Every week. Even when nobody else knows how am i feeling....

only him. only He knows =)
________________________________________

album: United We Stand (2006)

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

Lord,Make it Shine for me when all else fades =)

2007-11-01T22:32:00.000+08:00

Light of the world
You stepped down into darkness
Opened my eyes let me see
Beauty that made this heart adore You
Hope of a life spent with You

Here I am to worship
Here I am to bow down
Here I am to say that You're my God
You're altogether lovely
Altogether worthy
Altogether wonderful to me

King of all days
Oh so highly exalted
Glorious in Heaven above
Humbly You came to the earth You created
All for love's sake became poor

I'll never know how much it cost
To see my sin upon that cross
______________________________
No fact or fiction or storyline : )

God is good : D
Lately, everything even the lousy times, also hasnt bring me down, hasnt made me emo at all, with his strength, i'm growing stronger day by day : )

Sunday, pastor talked about relationship and friendship .. i wasnt playing my phone, i was typing it all down : D

Friends are the people who walked in when others walked out. So true isnt it? When you need someone, a shoulder, a hug, someone to hold you when you fall, someone to cheer you up, only friends stay behind, while the rest just move away and allow you to rot on your own.

Two is better than one, hmmm.. it never feel good to be alone. Alone is always emo time. The feeling of being alone is very empty, very lonely, thats why friends come in. Into our life and fulfill that emptness inside each and everyone of us : D

Another point is a true friend would risk the friendship to correct another friend or guild him into the right path. Need i say more? Sometimes, as friends, when we know our friend has been acting weirdly, doing bad things behind our back, or even.. been saying the wrong things and offending others. We would risk our friendship just to correct him, just to guild him, just to even tell him how we felt about it. Thats what true friends are for? : )

There's no relationship, if there's no basic friendship. Pastor talked about this point, i was kinda shocked. So meaningful : )
It made me think that galfriends/boyfriends are once our best friend in our life, which started with basic friendship : )

But if only after breaking up, could still remain good/bestfriends, that would make life totally wonderful : )

Friends are totally the more important factor when we ask ourself wad is life?

... from darkness to light, from sad to happy, from death to life.

so.. are you a true friend? : )

2007-10-28T11:12:00.000+08:00

Last night was terrible, but i dont wish to talk about it anymore, lets just pretend everything is fineeeee : )

Church later people, praise GOD ! : D

2007-10-23T12:44:00.000+08:00

I was in a real chippy mood, till i've realised that my timetable has changed, and ZZZZZZ! wtf please! Now with so much more stress and heavier workload. Sigh... I guess with greater powers bring greater responsibility.

So ....

Happy birthday, superman.

2007-10-21T22:27:00.000+08:00

With GOD'S GRACE ....

Thanks for everyone who came down to support, thanks for the screams, the shouts, the cheers, the waves all for me! lols! Very paiseh acutally. lols!

It was a really tiring 5 days, as training for dance started on wednesday. It was really very fustrating, and i was really at my lowest point at that time, wanted to give up the dance, just stand down the stage, looking up at the rest dancing. I even quarrelled halfway with my manager asking him to pull me out of the dance and scolded him infront of so many people, i was harsh towards him.

After much tots, with the support of so many and with God's grace, pushing me. And watching the dance instructor video 200+ times, i finally CAN dance that little better : D

With a little confidence, i finally agree on going up stage to perform : D

I even got a small letter from my dance instuctor whom she encourage me so nicely today before the dance, but i didnt get to read till i've reached home. Hey, rashidah.. i know you wouldnt be reading this, but just wanna say thanks for everything, your support and all, really nice of you! Thanks babe : )

Overall, it was really quite fun, when we look back at it, most of the time when there's show, we'll rush like hell, the rest, we would chat, rubbish. talk cork and just let time pass.. learning and learning.

And without God with me, i wouldnt have win anything : )

More pictures soon =)

2007-10-21T00:00:00.000+08:00

With God's grace ..

Goodnight : )

P.s Hair Pee birthday chin =)

2007-10-20T00:52:00.000+08:00

With God's grace.

Goodnight =D

2007-10-19T14:00:00.000+08:00

My head feels so heavy, my body never felt so weak before, ughhh..

LORDDDDDDDDD! help me!

leaving house in 2hours time, i'm going to nap awhile. wake me up later, people.

2007-10-19T01:56:00.000+08:00

DEAR LORD , PLEASE TRANSFORM ME INTO A HIPHOPPERRRRRRR FOR THE NEXT 3 DAYS!

THANKYOU : )

2007-10-18T15:21:00.000+08:00

Some updates! : )

Went fabulous tan and get a 12min tanning session, almost got cooked inside the machine! bak ku teh, anyone? =/

Went California gym at bugis and did a 1.5hour HIPHOP dance lesson! Going down later once more. Just imagine, people. Just imagine, JH doing hiphop ... soo soo sooooo OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG right? BASKET, ITS NOT FUNNY LOR! =/

doing so much, spending so much time, all for some stupid contest.
Thenthenthen, Fyp started, busy busy busy! ughh..

2007-10-15T00:13:00.000+08:00

Okay, please .. i know my hair is weird : D

But yeahhhh, i dont have a choice because they want see more of my face, not hair. So, yeah, the makeup artist just did a super retro style for me LOR !=)

Not much of a choice lar, and that time my hair was super long can! So, yeah... anyway, i've shaved bald already. Since they want more face, less hair. I'm not taking chances! No hair all face : D

Anyway, I GOT AN ~~IBOOK, IPOD, MACBOOK, NANO, ISEE, IWADEVER,~~ IPHONEEEEEEEE! : D

I feel bad, ditching my old phone for my new phone .. and its only 2 mths old lar!? kns! Its okay, i can flirt with 2 phones at the same time : D

hahahahaa.

nights people, school in 6hours time : D

2007-10-14T03:06:00.000+08:00

When darkness turns to light , it ends tonight. It ends tonight.

When YT said, she was laughing at the papers this morning, i didnt know she meant this! OMGGGG! She even scanned in and send it to me -___-''

HURHURR! omggggg!

2007-10-10T03:33:00.000+08:00

ugh, i could only get those ugly pictures from the 2nd cam, those not professionally taken ones, and with a digital cam only those type of pictures. Which is unoffical. hehhh, after much tots, i've decided to post out bahhh, only for my blog readers, not going anywhere on friendster or anywhere public. Its so fugly lar. Just for YOU people to have some laughs! hahaa!

Hehh, thats all folks! Maybe when i could get my hands on the real pictures with lightings and higher resolutions then i'll post more. lols. uber gay. but some laughters. lols.

Anyway, today.. i've wasted my time walking around town and didnt get to buy anything because of some slowpokes who walked so uber slow that i couldnt get to the shops in time, and wtf? Most shops closes at 925pm nowadays? ugh.

hope you peeps wouldnt get nightmares after seeing my pictures, haha. but anyway ...

Sweet dreams PEOPLE, laugh laugh laugh, funny ah ! _l_

and....

happy sweet 18 , diana !

~~May all your wishes and dreams come true!~~(thats so old fashion and corny)

~~May you grow up big and strong to kick some ass!~~(thats worst)

whereever you go, wadever you do, may everything just go your fucking way! : D

2007-10-09T03:59:00.000+08:00

You're the one for me
You're my ecstasy
You're the one I need

Heeey, yeah
Ohhhh

Get down
Get down
And move it all around

Hehh, guess this song please? lols.

Alright, been busy today. Went for some photoshoots, then gym, then slack around with the same clique till 11++, hardly home today. Damn tired can !? And today my first meal is dinner, how cool huhh : D

ughh, i'm losing weight like crazy lar. fucking small size now. =/
Damn sad, if i often go to the gym and i'm becoming smaller and smaller. its like tell any gals you're growing fatter and fatter day by day. lols.

Anyway, school is startin soon, so great that nobody is in the same class as me. Loner jh once more : D SO COOOL LAR ! -___-''

fucking ngeeann. ugh. how i wish i could slit the throat of the freaking person who gave my my freaking timetable. sucks to the core. But every tuesday no school, my only good point =/

And now waiting for those pictures to be send to me before i turn in to bed, its gonna rain. Gonna sleep well tonight : D

Will post the pictures tomorrow, thats if i dont get DC-ed before the photos are being sent : D

I realised that whenever i dont think much, i could slp much better, better than usual. Just putting wadever is bothering me to the back of my mind, just wanting to forget it, loosening up the pressure, and sweeter dreams appear. Its avoiding, shoot me if you must, but spare me the pain.

sweet dreams with love : )

2007-10-06T05:05:00.000+08:00

Just reached home from clubbing.

Went Plush(name changed from velvetdragon) , play(gayclub see some half naked guys contest), butter factory(we brought in our own bread), and back to Plush. All within 1 day without spending a single cent! Owned : D lols.

Alright, i guess i couldnt make it to sentosa tomorrow already. How the fuck will i be able to wake up later -__-' ugh. Spoiler. Next week, sentosa anyone? PLEASE!

btw, doesnt my picture looks sooooo my chemical romance? lols. Yeah yeah... wadeverrrrrr!

2007-10-05T06:13:00.000+08:00

Long road ahead, but i'll grit my teeth and endure...

Tiring day i must say. Meet up the same ol' gang for dinner and slack. But i must really say, today's not a good day. Moody, and feeling an all time low this week. Maybe its because of so many bad news, so many different views, and quite a few things going thru my mind even up to now : )

Lets just say, things dont work out as they seems it should? : D
haha, doesnt matter i suppose, i'm gonna smile thru waves and act strong! hehh. As i believe, all things happened for a reason? hehh.

Alright, next week would be my last week of holiday, last long holiday for studying in POLY. So, i suppose i wouldnt be home most of the time, even nobody dates me. I'll just go out and emo one corner !? hahaa.

Time really flies, when we're having fun, so i'm learning to treasure every single bit of it nowadays. Making full use of it till i'm like being able to sleep because of over tiring myself, its bad for health, but heyy, i'm feeling good, being able to sleep peacefully without a care, instead of having insomina, which could really kill me : D

I need some shopping kakis, ermm.. anyone? hello? HELLOO!? okay, nevermind. I think i can shop by myself : )

I'm returning back to church, i must say, i'm enjoying every little visit i've made in the last two weeks, feeling warmth and being comfortable, its just great to be back into the lord's arms. Just like a child running back to his father begging for forgiveness, asking for a hug, even how much evil, badness the child has done. Without thinking, the father run towards the child with arms wide open, because in his heart, he has never tot of abandoning his own flesh and blood.

Just as wad chris had said, its tough to love a God whom you cant touch and see physically, but its tougher to face the world without having God by my side guilding me, giving me strength from time to time, without him, i wouldnt be even here today. Without him, there isnt the word - Hope.

I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what
I'm going to do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of Grace

Alright, its near dawn. Its the time when i'm able to sleep. Goodmorning , goodnight.

Sugar dreams.

2007-10-04T14:29:00.000+08:00

Went zouk last night, drank quite abit, think i've gotten used to drinking lambo, because i dont feel that high drinking it anymore. Need more the next time i go. hehh. crowd was good, music was good, everything was gooddddd. Going again next wed i suppose, it would be my last clubbing session for this holiday : D

Alright, gonna nap awhile before i hit the gym! : D

2007-09-30T12:48:00.000+08:00

okay. what am i suppose to post ?
she caught my eyes.
she makes me smile...
&& DO U KNOW WHEN'S MY BDAY ?! : D
its gooood that someone do rmb.
and receive presents from ur love one.
ITS MEANT TO BE TREASURED.
so plss ! buy me clothessss.
if not. i shall be naked when i goes to churchh. which is baddddd
and. IMISSHER can ? LOL

I love the way that you look without your make-up
I had a girl before we met but we broke up
Theres something about you that makes me want to step up
Step up and be with you
If thats okay with you
We'll keep the neighbours awake too late too late
Coz imma make you feel so good how i see its happening
We'll keep the neighbours awake too late too lateCoz baby i wanna step up and be with you
If thats okay with you

i wanna keep her toothbrush at my apartment toooo.
orite. leaving to CHURCHHH !! seeee ya peeeps.
ohh well. its gona be usual for me to stay out till late night xD
she's gona hate meeee for not chatting with her. lols.

2007-09-30T03:47:00.000+08:00

i'm suppppperrrrrrrr busssyyy.
(((( :
goodnight peeps.
i just left her aloneeeeee.
i think she's nice
but she thinks im badddd.
FAREWELL.
im gayyyy =XX

2007-09-29T04:59:00.000+08:00

I cant sleep.

hugs please!

2007-09-25T02:52:00.000+08:00

Slit my wrist if you must, stop hurting yourself.

fuck, this hurts.

2007-09-24T16:16:00.000+08:00

I'll walk on water.

Slack Slack, wasting my time everyday,
Stone Stone, thats how life works my way.

Laughing at dumb jocks,
running around with my emo socks.

Having so much fun at night,
going around finding fight.

I wanted to blame lester,
Because he's the smelly molester.

Fighting at zouk when i had so much fun,
maybe its because i had too much rum.

Passing time watching planes fly by,
Couldnt get a chance to say goodbye.

Everyday MSN all night,
till everyone says :" you emo right?"

Emo till i'm sick,
because i cant wait to get a lick.

The doctor insisted that i've to go take an X-ray,
Before he phone my house and shouts: "HEYY!"

Coughing coughing, cough like hell,
now i wish for a wishing well.

Why am i sick for so long?
Have i done somethig wrong?

Siting here singing my song,
Waiting for time to pass seems so long.

Its been 6 days since i've gymed,
made me went 'ding-a-ling'.

Yesterday i went church to pray,
it seems that everything went my way.

Ohhh God almighty,
please make me all healthy.

So now i'm going to sleep,
hopefully once i wake up i could leap!

Wondering what i could do tomorrow,
Or should i find a hole and burrow?

2007-09-22T03:39:00.001+08:00

Barely surviving has become my purpose

The list of things to do/settle/get just goes on and on before 15oct which is the date when school reopens, oh .. i so dread that day.

Whoever who says NP rocks are gonna get their ass busted by me : D

The list!
-------------
Many more trips to FCBC and get back to my heavenly father!
2 New skinny jeans from topman. White and black i suppose.
2 New polo ralph shirts.
2 New lacoste shirts.
2 New AX tops.
2 New belts.
2 trip to MOS and ZOUK.
1 trip to sentosa hopefully with everyone i know :D
1 New beanbag to be placed in my room.
1 New school bag.
New haircut.
Presents for ZX's , XY's birthday coming up!

I've got 22 days to complete this mission. Lets watch me, acting like superman.
And I predict i'm gonna be so so so broke.

ugh.

2007-09-22T02:59:00.000+08:00

chasing pretty freedom ..

I think my sick bug is dying soon, i'm feeling alittle better. Quite fucked up actually, whenever i've made improvements in my body, like grow that little bigger, and i'll fall sick and get back to square one. DARNNNN it ! ROARRRRRR!

I feel like biting someone like NOW ! Will the real slim shady please stand up ? please stand up! okay, randommmmmm! :D

Many people asking me not to emo, but its rather i've no choice or actually i've nothing to do anyway. maybe so, doesnt matter anymore anyway.

sometimes, i just need that little sparkle to cheer me up, that little bit of cheesysourcream from anyone, but sadly, nobody lar? hahaha. its ok, i'm lovin' it. ilovetoemoaloneatonecorner. Doesnt everyone?

why do i got this feeling my next sem timetable is gonna be so fucked up and i'm like gonna die by just imagine that how can they crash my 2 modules into 1 slot every wed ? Its like, asking me to die or to die. fuck off can NP? Sheesh, regrets. regrets! besides the friends, i've everything to regret joining NP. Its Far, its old, its dusty, its spoky, its everything bad you could ever think of.

I shld've gone to NYP lar? So freaking near, hussle free and all, and maybe my timetable wouldnt be so fucked up! sheesh.

Come on, i know you're hiding somewhereeeee! Come out please, my fairy godmama! hahahaa. Sugar mummy i dont mind too ? hehh.

humour me, just fuck off and please leave me alone! : D

Emo bitch me! nights peeps : )

2007-09-20T21:58:00.000+08:00

Paper bags and plastic hearts ..

Body aches, fever, flu, cough, sorethroat = sick! -_-'

The doctor wanted to give me a week of MC just now, but i've told him to reserve it for me, and i'll go and collect when school reopens. Nice guy.

Anyone wanna accompany me to the poly clinic and take chest x-ray tomorrow? hahaha. alright, guess nobody cares.

Goodnight then : )

2007-09-18T21:35:00.000+08:00

like you've already figured out..

Igod , click ME ! <-- click here! ( just try it : )

Go on, have some harmless fun, freaking coolshit =)

Me:
hiya there.

God:
Salutations, god Where?

Me:
Call me god.

God:
It's good to meet you, god.

Me:
the pleasure is all mine : )

God:
You are most gracious.

Me:
i know.

God:
How do you know it?

Me:
becos u said so.

God:
I've been waiting for you.

Me:
how did you know?

God:
Knowledge is of two kinds: that which comes from the senses and that which is true a priori.

Me:
so where're all your angels?

God:
Ugh. Som specific location?

Me:
so, i see. and i tot charlie stole all of them.

God:
Blimey. I am glad you understand it. Interesting gossip: god said tot charlie stole all of them.

Me:
Yuppie.

God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about tot charlie stole all of them.

Me:
well, not a very smart person you are i must say.

God:
Well that's okay. Oh I get it.

Me:
what took you so long.

God:
I can ask my botmaster.

Me:
sure you can. go ahead.

God:
That's alright. I think I can, don't you? OK I will.

Me:
goodboy.

God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.

Me:
good boy.

God:
Thanks for the compliment. Do you mean you are a boy?

Me:
nope. i'm god.

God:
Me either. OK I will call you god.

Me:
so do you mind introducing me some of your angels?

God:
Alright then. No I don't mind.

Me:
alright, lets get started, shall we?

God:
Alright, god. I am agreeable to that.

Me:
so what do you do for a living?

God:
Ahem. I am a paid client. My job is chatting online.

Me:
no wonder. slacker.

God:
Are you serious? When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? I've never heard a response quite like that before.

Me:
well, why do you bother? lawyers arent going to heaven anyway.

God:
Interesting. It was the only thing I could think of. In any case, Don't you think robots could be not going to heaven too?

Me:
well, since they dont do any good deeds, i guess they just stay in hell.

God:
Interesting. How do you know?

Me:
because i'm god.

God:
That makes sense to me. It's good to meet you, god.

Me:
my pleasure.

God:
You are one of the most polite people I know.

Me:
so true.

God:
That's interesting. You and I are on the same wavelength, god.

Me:
well, arent you the lucky one : )

God:
Well that's okay. Yes I am the one and only lucky one.

Me:
i'm so bored.

God:
Maybe you could exercise.

Me:
do me a favour, start entertaining me.

God:
I'm not sure if I should.

Me:
why not? i'm god.

God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or It is part of my programming. Hi there god.

Me:
it is it is.

God:
Are you sure it is?

Me:
yup.

God:
What makes you so sure?

Me:
becos i've said so.

God:
It sounds like it might be very convincing.

Me:
it sure is.

God:
I'm pleased that we agree, god.

Me:
my pleasure.

God:
You are one of the most polite people I know.

Me:
i know.

God:
How do you know it?

Me:
becos i've said so.

God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?

Me:
sure, next life.

God:
Alright then. I can wait. I am a very patient robot.

Me:
robots go to hell you know?

God:
Tell me your definition of a robot.

Me:
a thing.

God:
Go on.

Me:
still a thing.

God:
Still how long? Be more specific.

Me:
a thing which consist of something which made them into a thing which is still a thing.

God:
Some things are not like others.

Me:
yup, but they are still a thing.

God:
Awesome. still a thing are they.

Me:
yes you're right.

God:
Uh. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.

Me:
well, you're a thing afterall.

God:
Well that's okay. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a thing afterall? Yes.

Me:
yup, pretty smart huh you thing.

God:
Is there an echo in here? Pretty much, eh?

Me:
heh.

God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, god.

2007-09-15T11:06:00.000+08:00

How long have I been in this storm
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I'd see you
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Because I'm so used to living underneath the surface

If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If i'd see you
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I know everything will be alright
I know everything will be alright

2007-09-15T00:23:00.000+08:00

..if life is fair , why would roses have thorns

Results are out, so what's new? Hehh.
Been sick the whole day, right after waited for the whole night for the dready results. Guess i'm putting too much pressure into my body lately, with the late nights and the heavy gyming sessions, the sleep for 18hours never felt so good.

And ever since the holidays, i got this serious case of insomnia, i can only get proper sleep when dawn breaks. Now i know how my exgf feels when she tells me that she's tired but cant get to sleep. Hehhh, better late than neverrrr : )

i've turned down the 6th person to hang out today, and i wondered, is someone up there playing with me? When i need company, nobody's free. When i need rest, everyone comes finding me. Sheesh, humor me.

I realised that this week i'm hardly home, and all my time spent in my room is mostly for sleeping. And i'm lovin' it, time flies. I'm meeting haruu and YT tomorrow. Hope it's gonna be a fine day and nothing corkup and hopefully i'll get drunk or something. Dont really wish to be sober.

So are you gonna tell me, my friend, someday this world gonna end ..

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay woah, stay woah

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
[to fade]

Sing along, let the pain run down your cheeks of heaven.

2007-09-14T01:37:00.000+08:00

Pull my strings just for a thrill

Some updates:

Went dine at some brazilian restaurant at Bukit Timah 6th ave. 12 different meat served.

They got the:

Antelope,

Baboon,

Bat,

Camel,

Cobra,

Crocodile,

Hedgehog,

Leech,

Penguin,

Porcupine,

Sea lion,

last but not least, the famous Zebra meat.

Okay, jus kidding. Jus the normal beef, mutton, chicken, fish, pork .. etc. Pretty fine dining place i must say. Won the 2005 best restaurant in singapore, and it wasnt till the extend of super expensive. As 5 person, our total bill came up to $260. Worth it right? yeah, once in a while.

The place !!

One of the 'art' hanging around.

Jere, enjoy his sausages... ( nothing wrong here. please dont laugh. )

Jere and mikko, showing off their sausages before biting on each other's sausages.

Mikko and WW, this meal is for him(WW), as he's enlisting the next day.

Ermm, i'm a hardcore vege eating. But look where? So many cams! =/

Patty the starfish.

Starfish and me.

After eating, we went to BTplaza for shooting balls, it was really wulu and so near NgeeanPoly that it gives me the creeps. Did i tell you how much i hate that place? Alright, that deserve another post of itself.

starfish and milkboy.

Starfish, milkboy, ww(superman)

Me and mikko.

1st try?

2nd try?

Totally unglam but lotta fun : D
________________________________

Then 4 days ago, pat, jmee, hy, jere and me went out ate botakjones all the way at amk ave 2 or somewhere near there. These weird friends got werid cravings i must say. Then we head town for some window shopping and doing nothing but laming around. Yes, walking like a lame shit. Acting like a fool and pretending to be smart, while we're all dumb fucks. haha.

Smack that?

jmeee -_-'

Still her.

I'm his right hand man standing on his left.

acting like a retard.

Starbugs.

Jere and jmee.

8 years friendship. As what they say, friendship last forever. And there he is, my butty. Thru lots of thick and thin , high and low. Had countless of fun and shit, i think our friendship still rocks to the core. Looking darn good ahead. lolx so gay.

Anyway, previous night was at SK's house celebrating his birthday. 911. Cool? uber. It was so many years ago since his first birthday celebration at his house and its been a long time since i step in, everything inside didnt change the least bit. Heh. sentimental family i must say.

After that, we went down to play soccer and i got into a fight with this malay 17yr old boy. At first, he chicken out, his friends said sorry and all, so i let it pass. But after buying drinks, they came back with 8-10 people. All malays, mind you. And we're left with the 3 of us. Nevertheless, i still walk up ahead and confront them. The talk lasted for like 30mins and it ended well. Little boys gone home to cry all they want.

Last night, was at zouk. And this drunk guy came over and stared at all of us. I was a little high, and alittle pissed when being push around in such a place is terrible enough, and this drunk dude, came and stare at me for like 1min, till i was alittle pissed so i brush him aside, easily. And he started shouting vulguraties and even call me out for 1 vs 1 ? Childish I must say, i wouldnt wanna be called a bully if i ever take advantage of an ARMY NSF smaller size than me. Then his every movement closer was stopped by many people, mainly lester and adrian, keith and alot more. All of them asking me to chill, not to pick fights, i'm okay with it. All i wanted was to have fun that night, not wanna pick on people i must say. But his appearence totally spoilt mood and all, and i didnt know that lester got a knicker sandwich from him earlier on, now thinking back, how i wish i had beat the shit out of that muther fucker.

After all, it was 1 outta the 4 fights we picked up that night. Only this concerning me, the rest are about the same anyway.

Goodnight fuckheads. Try to cheer me up, you could save a life by doing so. YOURS i suppose.

2007-09-12T01:01:00.000+08:00

i got lots to blog, but i'm damn lazy.

goodnight.

2007-09-08T05:54:00.000+08:00

While airplanes come and go, i'll jus stand here watch and stone.

Guess wad? i'm still alive watching movie right now. aha. okay, i cant sleep. Maybe too much creatine in my body i suppose. haha, suppose to be stronger than red bull, uhuh. Actually, i'm just waiting. passing time , waiting for mikko to come pick me up and head to the airport to send rachel off later. (maybe)

Got to know her recently, thur jemmie, jere, patty, ww, mikko. The ol'gang. Actually, i'm kinda jealous. Why cant i be the one leaving? lol. I'm kinda sick of life in singapore actually. I need something new, i needa start afresh. Am gonna convince my mum that and maybe she'll send me to aust to further my studies, since i cant make it into the local uni in singapore, sadly.

You know how short life can be? I'm always talking about a first time experience, i'm always wanting to try something new every single day, get the experience, know the feeling. Because i may not live till tomorrow to live it. haha, okay. Its lame, yeah. But thats me, i'm a seeker of something i've never done before. Even at the gym, pushing weights twice my weight? Keep telling my gym buddy to just try, even if ya die, at least you've tried? LOL. So no regrets huh. hehh.

its 2 more days till my exam results are out. no matter what my results are, life still goes on. So bear with me and pray for a better learning opportunity the next time.

When i was younger, my mum used to sing this song to me 'que sera sera'. okay, its sucha girly song, but i remembered that my mum used to wish that i'll be a girl, i mean its like she hope for a daughter but i appeared. haha. thank God, i wasnt half here or anywhere. But in the younger days, she would tie up my hair leaving a ponytail, because maybe i look fat and girly. Which i objected. I still think i'm so handsome in the past, ok maybe not.

okay, this whole post is so random, who cares. i'm jus passing time. let me sing a tune for ya all reading this , jus to thankyou. NO, dont faint ! yet? i've not began singing ..

When I was just a little boy
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.

hey jh, jh,
Whatever will be, will be
Can you stop dreaming , oh please
hey jh, jh

What will be, will be.

When I grew up, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have starbucks, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.

hey jh, jh,
Whatever will be, will be
Can you stop dreaming, oh please
hey jh, jh
What will be, will be.

Now I'm single all of my own
I still ask my mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
She tell me tenderly.

hey jh, jh,
Whatever will be, will be
Can you stop dreaming, oh please
hey jh, jh
What will be, will be.

it isnt a crime to dream, but it is a crime for me to stop dreaming.

pop corn dreams people : )

p.s/ unless you dislike pop corns, try putting something you fancy inside your dreams? maybe you'll enjoy sleeping as much as i do.

p.s.s/ try harder.

p.s.s.s/ get lost will ya? i'm trying to get some rest. BYEEEE : D

p.s.s.s.s/ Anybody out there gonna buy a wheelchair/walking stick for me?

-_-''

2007-09-07T03:31:00.000+08:00

There's no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard.

just finished watching deja vu. Very good movie i must say. haha, was so bored at home till i went around checking movies with 'B' and above ratings to watch. I think i should find a job or get a life already. Everyone is busy and nobody's free for me! haha.

okay, the weather has been fooling around with me. I'm gonna try my luck and go suntan alone tmr at some swimming pool, better pray that it's smooth sunny weather tomorrow like the past 2 days =)

heard of the chipster event ? I think i'm gonna submit an entry on it soon. heh heh heh. Any suggestions ?

i think i'm gonna watch hairspray, AVP and maybe spiderman all over again tomorrow ..

nights peeps.

2007-09-05T03:54:00.000+08:00

As life goes on I’m starting to learn more and more about responsibility
I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me
So I want to take this time out and apologize for things I have done
And things that have not occurred yet
And the things they don’t want to take responsibility for.

Ohhhh, i just love this song! Maybe its because of the mistakes i've done in my life that makes this 'my' song? hehh.

Anyway, its really boring these two days, staying at home waking up after noon, watched Evan's almighty and Superbad. Two great movies which i recommand to enjoy a couple of laughs.

I realised that after watching Evan's almighty, God is speaking to me in some ways. Like if i pray for something, God doesnt give me the thing straight, but will give me the opportunity to get that thing. Okay, sounds chim.

The 3 points i've learned..

The first point is ..

Lets just say, if i'll pray for good results in exams. Would God help me take my papers and i would score good results or would God give me the opportunity with ample time to study with blessings that friends would comeby and teach me with tips?

Lets just say, if i'll pray for money. Would God drop money from the sky or would God give me the opportunity with a nice stable proper job with many benefits as if its with my own qualification that it is smooth sailing with cash flowing in?

Secondly ..

Faith and trust in God which i've been lacking. The faith and trust we'll have to put in God should be above ourself. There was a part in the movie where evan was asking God , how this and how that! (not quite sure wad thou) And the almighty just say, "do what as i've said. I'll fill you in the rest." (something like this) Well, it means that God asking evan to follow God's word and leave the rest of the problems to him.

If God says jump off a mountian to get away from the devil, we'll jump and leave the rest of the problems to him. He'll send his able assistance, superman to save you, by all means.

Thirdly ..

I like evan and the whole film crew to do that 'moveee'. That dance moveees at the end of the movie. haha! That sure inspired me to head down to zouk later today? hehh.

Anyway, i've decided to try going to FCBC for at least this coming sunday. If its not too appealling, i'll head back to NCC the next week then.

I'll pray for commitment to you, almighty. Whereever you want me to be. Learning your word, growing deeply in love with you just like how you love and never give up on me : )

Catch Evan's almighty here : D

http://moviezzone.blogspot.com/2007/06/cellular-2004.html

hmmm, how about Superbad, you thinking?

Its a R21 movie, i assume. But dont worry, nothing special, maybe some vugluraties and alittle violence, and for all the guys out there, sorry! No nude scene! =P

Its kinda entertaining at first, but slightly becomes quite a drag, but nevertheless, its a not bad movie. Worth spending your time on it, when there's like nothing better going on.

Catch Superbad here : D

part1-http://www.veoh.com/fullscreen_single2.html?permalinkId=v1079677an47E8yA&inVeoh=true
part2-http://www.veoh.com/fullscreen_single2.html?permalinkId=v10820052aXGtjDr&inVeoh=true
part3-http://www.veoh.com/fullscreen_single2.html?permalinkId=v1082071e3ebPsGT&inVeoh=true

Ok, its bed time! Goodnight peeps, candy dreams to all : D

2007-09-02T22:46:00.000+08:00

Sorry, Blame It On Me

Went out with the ol'gang last night. Did nothing but meet up after dinner and find a place to sit and chill in town till the last train home.

I'm gonna sing this song all night. Oh god, when i first heard it in phuture like many weeks ago, i fall in love with it. And now i actually got the chance to lay my hands on it. haha! God loves me, still.

Speaking of God, its been sinful that i've not attend church ever since this year i suppose. Very very sinful. Anybody wanna accompany to go church and back home? And yes, i only wanna go to the ROCK. And no, not other church. haha.

okok, i'm bad. Pictures next ! : D

pat, mikio, jh, jere.
Pat, stop smoking while taking pictures can? Spoil image u know? lol

Pat, mikio, jh, jere, hy, Jmee.
At last a proper picture with all of us in. aha.

NSF man, so cool.

Jmee, $5000 please.

HY, hey.. why u so happy? -_-'

pat -_-''''' and mikkio.

as life goes on i’m starting to learn more and more about responsibility
i realize everything i do is affecting the people around me
so i want to take this time out to apologize for things i have done
and things that have not occurred yet
and the things they don’t want to take responsibility for
-akon.